I’m an Empath But My Boyfriend Is a Narcissist

I m an empath and my boyfriend is a narcissist. I tried a lot of times to heal his wound and characteristics problems. We have been in relationship for 6 years but in those years .i really love him,,,i always keep him first before me.but he just only care about him,,,he just only the takers and i m the givers ,,,he doesn’t care about my feelings,,,he cheated on me several times with other girls,,

when i wanted to leave me he just put the all blame on me,,,such as i cannot admire him or praise him much,,,he has deep attraction to sex but i cannot give him,,,i forgave him several times and gave many chances than he deserved but the things doesn’t change…i really want to get me out from this pain but i get myself trapped,,,is there any way to get his love just for me by anything???? If not,,then how can get me out from that trap??

A: You have been with this guy since you were only 15. What you want and need now is much different than what you needed when you were so young. Clearly, this man loves himself far more than he loves you. The quick answer to your question is no. There is nothing you can do or say to win the kind of love you want and deserve at this stage of your life.

Getting out of the trap will be difficult because he has maneuvered himself into so much of your life. You apparently have no experience with other men. You have not had the opportunity to work on learning how to manage your tendency to give too much and get too little. However, you can make a better life for yourself.

First, leave this man and work on you. If you can’t access some good therapy, at least join one of the online support groups here at PsychCentral. Build your self-esteem so that you truly believe yourself worthy of love without having to be always the giver.

Do not let your boyfriend the narcissist pull you back into this unhealthy relationship. He will try. It will be a blow to his ego that you leave him. But that is his selfishness talking. He isn’t interested in your welfare.

Start getting to know other men. Start gently. Get involved with activities that include singles — both men and women. Do not look for a boyfriend for now. Just look for men who can be your friend. You have a lot to learn about other adults and a lot to learn about healthy relationships. Just get to know people and watch how people in good relationships treat each other.

You are only 21. You have plenty of time to heal yourself and to find true and mutual love. Give yourself the time to grow and to find someone who can provide the loving attention that you boyfriend can’t. You deserve it.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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