From a teen in the U.S.: My parents have been having marriage/relationship issues for a long time now. At this point, I am not sure why they are still together, but they are. They is always bickering or arguing going on between them, and I wait until the next “big fight” will break out (There has been about 5) where the screaming is unbearable and the police sometimes are involved. I feel like at times things can be good but right when I think that, arguing or something happens.
About 3 weeks ago my mother was helping me look up something online for one of my classes on her phone. I wanted to copy and paste a link to send to myself but when I copied the link, it opened her clipboard opened where things (pictures, links) go once copied. Therefore I saw pictures that were saved onto her clipboard. The pictures I saw were naked photos she has taken of herself; and very vulgar pictures I might add. I froze and handed her back her phone. I don’t know if she knows that I saw them or not but ever since this, I have thought of why she took them and who she could be sending them too. These are not pictures you just take because you are bored.
This situation has led to me making senarios and conclusions that she is cheating on my dad. I didn’t want to come out and accuse her, so I have said nothing to her. Besides, I don’t have much evidence besides some vulgar pictures. Lately, I realized she has been texting a long time friend of my parents a lot. (This man is also divorced for having cheating on his wife) She makes an effort to hide her phone when texting him or putting it on silent.
I have checked her messages about twice with this man and I realized they are constantly being erased. It is sad because my dad considers him a good friend. My dad is a good man who can make some very poor and questionable choices and my mom is a good woman who can be terrible at times. I know this sounds like me putting some pieces together and hoping they stick but I know what I know, and a child knows it’s mother.
Please help me, I’m losing hope. I haven’t even told anyone. What do I do?
A: This is too big a burden for a kid, even a teen, to carry. What you do is stop snooping and talk to your mom. Talk. Don’t accuse. You can let her know you saw the pictures and ask her to get you out of the middle of worrying about both her and your dad. Be open to having a mature conversation about it. If she asks you to keep it a secret, be honest. Let her know you care about her, but that you don’t want to feel like you are betraying your dad. It would be unfair of her to ask this of you.
Then let your folks work it out. They’ve had a difficult marriage for a long time. They may finally be ready to do something about it — or not. That doesn’t mean they can’t love you or be good parents to you.
I wish you well.
Dr. Marie
from Ask the Therapist http://ift.tt/2lPeouE
via https://ifttt.com/ IFTTT
No comments:
Post a Comment