From a teen in the U.S.: I was molested as a child by my grandfather and I never told anybody about it until recently. I suffered from severe depression since I was 5-6 because of this. I told my mom last year and she was helpful and said that she would take me to a psychologist and said that she was here to help. My mom started crying when i told her and said that it was all her fault and i told her that it wasn’t but then she started making it about herself and saying that she could of been molested too even though she does not recall ever being molested.
Its been over a year now and my mom never took me to a psychologist as she promised she would. I suffer every day and often cry myself to sleep since I can’t cope with it anymore. Any time that somebody brings up a psychologist, my mom simply laughs and says that people now a days are so delicate and psychologists dont help and are only for crazy people that have low self-esteem.
My mom also favors my brother a lot ever since we were little it seems as if everything i say something it goes in through one ear and out through the other but when my brother says something its like if shes in love with him. My mom yells at me all day long she turns to my brother to hug him and tell him that she loves him and then will turn to me and start yelling at me and making me do things around the house while my brother is on his phone the whole day.
If I cry my mom says im weak and a baby and she says that she should be the one crying. At this point I just wish i could feel comfortable with my own mom or tell her something nicely without getting yelled at. My mom says that im always rude but everytime i talk in a nice way she just yells at me and brings me down. At this point I have given up and I feel like nobody is ever gonna be here to help me since my mom is the only one that knows about me being molested because she said my dad or family cant know because she doesnt want to be humiliated because of her father.
A: I’m so very sorry you have been feeling so alone for so long. It’s true that not everyone gets the mother that they want or deserve. It sounds like your mother has issues of her own that are preventing her from being able to support you. It may also be that she can’t stand feeling responsible for not protecting you and so doesn’t want to deal with what happened to you.
The good news is that you do have two parents. I encourage you to confide in your dad. You are a kid. It is not your job to protect your mother from possible humiliation. In this case, if anyone should be humiliated, it is her father, not her. Regardless, adult humiliation takes a back seat to child suffering. Reach out to your dad or some other adult relative you trust to get the help you need.
I wish you well.
Dr. Marie
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