Saturday, 19 May 2018

How Do I Get Rid of Trust Issues?

From a teen in the U.S.: I’ve been looking online for therapists, because some incidents have happened to where it seems like I need it (and honestly want it).

I’ve read online about forums for “relationship issues” pertaining to said person not trusting their significant other. It seems like I’m not the only one who feels crazy anymore. I read them, and I feel a little more reassured that other people DO go through this, yet, I still hate the way I act. But words can only get me so far.

I’ve had long relationships where they’ve hurt me in some way, obviously losing my trust. I believe that has led me to not trust my husband, even though he hasn’t given me a reason to NOT trust him. Insane, isn’t it? I’ve been so affected by being cheated on and being hurt, that I’m simultaneously hurting the man who has given me the world. I’ve never really been too keen to be outspoken about my problems except to my husband, as he’s the one that deals with my issues first hand. Thank you for your help in the future. I will greatly appreciate it, I’m a mess, haha.

A: Feeling like you’re a “mess” isn’t a laughing matter. You are in pain. You are smart to reach for help. At only 19, you are trying to figure out how to deal with personal issues while at the same time learning how to be married. That’s a tall order but a very important one. Untreated trust issues could severely damage your relationship with your husband.

I agree that having a therapist would probably be helpful. I also agree that forums can be reassuring but don’t necessarily provide the kind of personalized and professional support that you may need. I hope you will research what therapy resources are available in your community. If cost is an issue, do look for a community mental health clinic or for therapists who have a sliding fee structure. Your doctor may be able to make a referral for you.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie



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