I Don’t Think My Parents Like Me

From a teen in Belgium: So I don’t think my parents like me anymore. I’ve got a sister who has very good grades and is participating on a lot of swimming competitions, she wins always… They only have attention for her and I feel forgotten, my parents talk about her all the time. My whole life depends on when she has competitions or when she has to practice.

My parents can’t say anything good about me, they always complain that my grades aren’t as good as my sister’s, that I’m not sportive as my sister… They always have something bad to say about me. And while my sister is laying in the couch, I can do the laundry, the dishes, clean the whole place, because ” she is tired”.

I HATE MY LIFE!

Lately I’m fighting a lot with my parents and then they say horrible stuff to me. So I decided to cut my self… I did it twice and it felt good, but my friend discovered it and got mad at me, so I stopped cutting.

I’m afraid my parents will never love me again…

I’m very sorry you are in so much pain. It might be that your parents think that comparing you to your sister will motivate you. It’s a common parenting mistake but it rarely works. Sadly, it makes you always anxious about what your sister is doing instead of focused on what you need to do to grow and mature.

You told me a great deal about what you don’t do. You didn’t share what you do do. You may not be interested in swimming, but I imagine you have other interests. Instead of accepting that you are second rate model of your sister, work on finding a hobby or interest or activity that is yours alone. (Then you will be “tired” too.)

Don’t compete with your sister for grades but do work with your teachers to figure out what you need to do to improve. Academics aren’t for everyone. Not everyone is a top scholar. But everyone can do well enough in school to prepare for a job or more training or schooling. I have a guess that there is a subject or two that you find interesting.

You are an individual who is valuable and lovable. Somehow the whole family has lost sight of that. Get out of you sister’s shadow so you can be seen.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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