I Feel like Getting Revenge

From a teen in the U.S.: Last year, I had my nudes exposed by this girl, and this year I want to press charges. But I couldn’t because I didn’t have enough evidence. I thought long and hard about this and came to the conclusion that I would sort this out myself. I spoke to her and we had a good talk. She confessed though and I had said I wouldn’t press charges, more like I lost the will since I was vulnerable, but now I do want to press charges.

So what do I do? I had said no I wouldn’t but this girl ruined my high school life. I feel cold like I’m snapping the neck of some poor animal every time I think of what I’m going to do and this doesn’t concern me more than the fact that I’m going to feel so good when she gets hit with these charges.

She got off with a slap on the wrist before and now she’s really going to get punished. So what does that mean? Am I like a freak now? I don’t care that she apologized when she got caught the counselors just told her to stop. No police, no nothing.

Now I feel like I’m getting revenge, I partially am to an extent, right? Am I in the wrong? Should I feel this proud? Should I feel smug that she confessed and now I’m going back on my promise?

Since counselors were involved at the time, I think it best for you to talk to one of them about what to do now.

One thing I’d like you to think about: Although your friend was out of line to share your pictures, you have a part in your problem. You shared nude pictures. That certainly wasn’t smart. We all know that whatever we put out into the internet world can come back at us. In that sense, you set yourself up. In that sense, she didn’t single handedly “ruin your high school life”. You had a big part in it.

I wonder if you are now embarrassed and ashamed of having shared nude pictures. Maybe you are spending so much energy and stress thinking about revenge as a way to avoid dealing with your own mistake. It’s understandable. Shame and embarrassment are hard to live with. But it’s important that you take responsibility for doing something that almost inevitably would bite you.

I suggest you learn a hard lesson about internet privacy and personal boundaries. Do talk to the counselors, of course, about any legal implications if you decide to pursue your revenge scenario. I hope you’ll include my thoughts in that conversation.

If you continue to be obsessed with revenge, do make an appointment with a mental health counselor to help you deal. You would probably benefit from talking it out.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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