Sunday, 21 May 2017

Dealing with Strict Parents

I am 21 years old and my parents are still super strict with me. I have a job, I go to school, I pay for my own schooling, pay for my own expences( car, phone, insurance etc.). At home I do all that needs to be done, including taking care of my little sister. I believe that I am responsible enough to be treated like an adult but I’m not being treated like one. Ever since I got with my boyfriend they have become even more strict. I have to be home at 9,  pm and I can’t spend a weekend with his family. We are doing anything sexual and I have told my parents this. I don’t know what else I can do in order to gain some trust and respect from them. Please advise. (From the US)

A:  It is time to have a discussion with your parents about what you need and explain that you can only continue living with them if there is a change. This isn’t a challenge — it is a fact. You are old enough to vote, drink, drive, and serve in the armed forces. Coming home at 9 isn’t what will help you grow. You’ve proven yourself to be VERY responsible. Let them know that their well-meaning attitude has to change and be willing to negotiate with them about a trial period and evaluation to help them see you are extending your responsibility in good faith.

If they stick with their approach then it is time to make a plan to move out. Check with your school about rooming possibilities, dorms, and other forms of housing. You may need to take a loan, but your freedom is worth it.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral



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