I realized recently that all my life I’ve always get close to people but push them away, afraid they will hurt or leave me first. I tend to find myself making up stories about my day or something more extreme like a false accusation. I make up lies so people will stay with me. I’m aware that these are lies but I continue to do it. I love to seek revenge on people who have hurt me. I’m going to therapy again for this issue. When someone tries to leave me, I make them feeling pity for me, I will say that I will kill myself if they leave me. I don’t know why I find it enjoying. Help!
A: The ambivalence you have concerning intimacy, the push and pull, abandoning them before they can abandoned you, and using guilt to get them to stay with you, is a pattern designed to keep you in control. I’m glad you are reentering therapy to learn more about this, and I recommend group therapy somewhere along the line to help deal with these issues as they arise in group.
Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral
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