Thursday, 19 April 2018

I Have Developed Feelings for My Same-Sex Friend

I consider myself a heterosexual male but I have often had difficulty forming romantic connections with women for one reason or another. Instead, I tend to be romantically attracted to men, even if that attraction doesn’t exactly translate into sexual attraction.

Recently, I have found myself very attracted to my same-sex roommate. My feelings toward him are romantic and I really wish I could start a relationship with him. When I told him about my feelings he seemed ambivalent. I had thought that perhaps he was interested in me (he seems like the type of person who is not totally straight) but I get the feeling that he doesn’t feel comfortable forming a relationship with me.

I feel very desperate at the moment as I crave romantic connection but I seem to be unable to obtain it, either with men or women. To be honest, I have no idea how to proceed either with my roommate or with any future romantic relationship. I feel as though I lack the ability to form a meaningful romantic connection with a woman, but I am also incapable of forming a sexual relationship with a man. I may be destined to be alone forever, even though it kills me.

Please let me know your thoughts.

A:  These ambivalent feelings are common and it would be helpful for you to talk to a therapist familiar with these type of identity issues. It says from your profile that you are at a university. Universities are equipped with typically well-staffed and trained therapists in their clinic for student counseling. I would highly recommend this. It is your uncertainty about you sexual identity that underlies the difficulty and hesitation. The therapy would go a long way toward healing this.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral



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