From the U.S.: Is it okay to email your therapist once in a blue moon after ending therapy? I don’t want to be friends, but I care about her and I would like to know that she exists if that makes any sense. I’m not going to email her like crazy or ask for advice. Just a hi how are you message once every year or so… do you think that would be appropriate. Maybe if a huge life event happens ( like marriage ) I could share it with her just because… would that be okay? I would never want to bother her with my messages, and I don’t think it’s appropriate to be friends. I just want to know that she is well and messaging her would give me comfort. What do you think?
A: This is an excellent question. I very much appreciate your sensitivity to the challenge of maintaining appropriate contact. From my point of view, an occasional update from former clients about how they are doing is welcome. However, I don’t disclose much about my own life in response. Therapy is about you, not me.
That being said, different therapists have different definitions about boundaries and therefore different ideas about what is and is not appropriate contact following termination. For that reason, the most useful thing for you to do is to write to your therapist and ask her. An honest question is usually met with an equally honest reply.
I wish you well.
Dr. Marie
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