My Friend Won’t Accept to Try to Solve Her Problems

So I’ve got a friend, she’s nice, friendly, and we enjoy the same topics. The problem is that she has depression. She’s constantly ragging on herself and her work and doesn’t believe anything good I say about her. I’ve suggested therapy but she’s stubborn as a rock. My other friend tried to give her a session with our school’s counselor/psychiatrist but she continuously refused and told us that we didn’t understand’ and she was never going to tell anyone her problems’. Quick note: I used to have depression and was sent to a therapist to recover. I mentioned that I had been in her place and knew how she felt. She wouldn’t listen and threatened not being our friend if we didn’t cancel that session. I’m guessing that was because it was in the school and she didn’t want her bullies finding out. I suggested to her therapy with an actual therapist but she refused because her mom would kill her’. How am I supposed to get her mom to help her with her problems? We’re only fifth graders so there’s nothing I can really do, unfortunately… can you help me help her?

This problem is best handled by adults. Inform your parents about what’s going on. You should also inform her parents about what’s going on. Your parents might want to do this on their own or with you. Your friend might be angry with you, but her parents need to know that something is wrong.

Another strategy is for you to report what you know about your friend to the school counselor/psychiatrist. School officials should also be aware that she has “bullies.” Many schools have systematic approaches for dealing with the problem of bullying. Again, your friend might be upset with you but it is important to do the right thing even if it’s difficult.

There is nothing else you can do except call emergency services if she becomes a danger to herself or to others. Otherwise, you’ve done all you can.

There may be many reasons why your friend is reluctant to seek help. Unfortunately, you can’t make people do things they don’t want to do. That is a difficult lesson to learn.

Generally speaking, do all you can, and realize that’s all anyone can ask of you. I’m impressed with your efforts to help your friend and hope that everything turns out well for all involved. Thank you for your question please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

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