Panic, Depression, DPDR

I’m 31 years old, and ever since I was 16 when I tried Marijuana for the first time, I have had reoccurring bouts with what I would call severe panic, then this panic leads to a few months of feeling like only my head is my body, and my arms feel like there distorted and long, I feel like my brains not believing what my eyes are selling and because of this I feel an intense sensation of my heart dropping and then a rush up my neck and feel as if I’m in another dimension, it is so insanely terrifying that I can’t even feel the physical symptoms of my heart rate or sweating until after I’ve calmed down, after these episodes I shiver and then constantly worried about the next one. During this time nothing matters to me except my reality, I constantly question if anything described is what I have because it is so severe it feels like no one has gone through this. But this last episode in November of 2019 has been the worst of my life, I’ve all of a sudden gained phobias of certain foods because I’m afraid it might make it worse, and I know it’s crazy. I’m 5’11”; and I was 330 lbs but in 2 months I’ve lost 40 lbs because of it. I’ve also stopped taking my meds for pain because I’m scared of them making me euphoric and so I’m going through withdrawals while dealing with this. It’s right to the point of being unbearable. I can’t even take antibiotics because I’m so terrified of it affecting my state. My question is, does this seem like a type of schizophrenia or psychosis? No one in my family has been diagnosed with mental illness except for panic attacks. Thank you.

Thanks for your email. Depersonalization disorder (DPD), also known as depersonalization/derealization disorder (DPDR) happens when someone feels disconnected from themselves. The depersonalization, panic, and paranoia symptoms you are describing all seem to be pointing back to a shift in your sensorium that gets interpreted as a loss. In other words, each time you take a drug, or have an intense body sensation or feel dissociated from your body you are fearing you will lose yourself. Your description has three features I think deserve attention.

First, I would schedule an appointment with a neuro-psychologist, neurologist, or psychiatrist so that the entirety of your experiences (including the use of pain medicine and marijuana) can be reviewed. Secondly, once you have a better handle on what activates these experiences and why—I will encourage you to begin regular individual therapy so the process of talking and discussing these feelings can happen on a regular basis.

Finally, I would recommend yoga therapy as a way to help integrate your mind and body experiences and specifically to help with the anxiety.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

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