Hello, My boyfriend lives with me and we are having too many issues this early on. From Day 1 he has told me I need to change. He has never accepted me for who I am. I do have trust issues and can be insecure, but he refuses to see or work on his issues. He has told me that I refuse to communicate positively, and that maybe I am just happy with who I am and then says if that is the case we will just go our separate ways. He will have outbursts and then 2 hours later text me a novel claiming he loves me but that he deserves to be happy too. He calls me selfish, yet the only thing I hear is about him. HIS stress, HIS happiness, how HE had it so bad growing up and refuses to deal with people who won’t change, etc.
I have decided the best thing is to end things. I need someone who will love me for me, but he has broken me so it’s hard for me to move on. I know in the next couple days he will try to smooth things over and once again make me take the blame for everything bad that has gone wrong. (From the USA)
A: He has not broken you. You sound strong, resilient and deeply self-reflective. Ending a less-than-satisfying relationship is energy pruning. If he can’t honor who you are then it is time to move on.
When people transform they typically have been tolerating too much and learn to set a limit on what they can accommodate with their partner. It sounds like you have reached your limit. You must believe you deserve better than him for that better possibility to happen.
Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral
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