I don’t know what to do. I cut myself really bad. At first they were shallow cuts, but now the shallow ones don’t satisfy me anymore. The longer I cut, the deeper the cut has to be for me to feel any sense of relief. It’s been going on for about a year. My mother doesn’t know and I don’t plan to tell her. I don’t want her to think I’m more of a disgrace than I already am. And I’m scared to tell my doctor because I think she will tell my mom. I know there are confidentiality laws but I think those only come into play when you’re not hurting yourself or others. I don’t know what to do. I’ve lost friends because they want me to tell them whats wrong but I just can’t. I’m scared they will tell the administration. Who will then tell my mom. I only cut on my thighs now because if they are on my arms, people will see them. And that would give me more anxiety, which would make me cut more. It’s a vicious path I would rather not go down. I’m already addicted to cutting, and it’s really, really hard to stop. I know I can, I just don’t know how. Please help me.
A. You say that you can’t stop cutting but there are certainly times when you’re not cutting. You don’t cut when you’re in school or when you’re the presence of your mother or doctor. Certainly there are other times too. If you do not cut on those occasions, then you do have some control. It shows that you can stop when you choose to. It also shows that you are not powerless or addicted.
Being able to control your behavior demonstrates an important level of self-control. You have more power and control than you realize. You can use this self-control to resist the urge to cut.
When you feel the urge to cut, do something else. Try to find an alternative activity. Some examples include, but are not limited to: exercise, dancing, drawing, playing a musical instrument, painting, calling a friend or playing with a pet. Writing is also a great stress reliever; one of the best according to many studies. There are many other things you could do in place of cutting.
The best way to solve this problem is to discuss it with your doctor. He or she can help you. Therapy only works if you are honest with the people who are trying to help you. I know that you are frightened but there is nothing to fear. Cutting is common and highly treatable.
Counseling will help you to find healthy ways to release your emotional pain. Don’t let fear keep you from treatment, recovery and a satisfying life. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle
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