From a teen in the U.S. Everyday I have thoughts of death, hurting people or myself. I hate it. I cant control my thoughts. I hurt myself and don’t realize it until its done. I have bee diagnosed with, ADHD, Depression, anxiety, and PTSD. My thoughts are disorganized, Some are of saving people and others of killing them. I see everything in cycles. I hate to fail, I get depressed when i fail, and then fail more as a consequence.
I love my family but I cant help fighting about everything. I’m always aggressive and then i get mad at myself for being mean to others and hurt myself. I cut, scrape and pull my hair out.
Nobody in my family will listen so i just get my frustrated. How can I stop these thoughts? Im pretty sure im bipolar but nobody believe me. Im happy for long periods and then depressed for no reason for even longer periods. im compulsive, aggressive, and hurting. and it just wont stop.
At 18, you don’t need your family to listen to you or to believe you. The only person who has to believe that you need and deserve treatment is you. Instead of spending your energy on arguing with your family, explore how to get the treatment you need. Instead of channeling your pain into self-injury, get help to feel better.
Since you were diagnosed, I’m assuming you saw a clinician who is qualified to do it. That person can give you a treatment plan. If you can’t afford to follow up with an individual therapist, there are alternatives. You may find it helpful to take a look at this article.
Taking charge is likely to make you feel better. Doing the hard work of therapy now while you are in your teens will set you on a path for a happy and productive adulthood.
I wish you well.
Dr. Marie
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