Saturday, 10 November 2018

My Parents Think I Shouldn’t Go Out

I’m a medical student and I feel stressed a lot of the time. Going out helps me relax and let off steam, kinda like recharging. I’m also very close to my friends. They’re one of the best things about my life, and ever since we finished school, I haven’t seen them very often, which has been a little depressing for me. However, my parents are a bit conservative and don’t think I should go out a lot (weekly outings are their definition of a lot. They’d prefer an outing every 2 months or so.) It may seem a bit like a juvenile problem, but we’ve come to an impasse. I don’t think I go out enough, they think I go out too much, so I figured we can ask a professional to get a correct answer once and for all. I personally think outings help me keep a healthy mental state, but the debates every single time I want to go out have been mentally draining. I hope your answer would put an end to this problem, if you say I’m right I hope they’ll be convinced and if you say they’re right I’ll let go of this exhausting battle. Thank you.

If you are living in your parents’ home that might mean that you have to follow their rules. That is generally true in the American culture. However, things may be different in your culture. Since I am not familiar with the intricacies of the Indian culture regarding matters of this nature, it would be ill advised for you to base your decision upon my advice.

In addition, I don’t have all the facts so it’s difficult to provide an answer. My general thought on the matter is that if it helps you maintain a healthy mental state and no one is being harmed, then it seems fine.

If going out doesn’t hurt you and you find it to be helpful, I can think of no valid reason to stop. If it is hurting you more than it is helping you, then you should stop. This issue may be cultural. Your parents may be expressing their cultural views. They may see your becoming a physician as being much more important than your short-term happiness. There is no reason that your happiness and career success can’t be achieved at the same time. It is up to you. Listen to all of their advice but at some point, you must become an individual. What is right for them may not be right for you. What is right for your brother or sister, is almost certainly not right for you or any other sibling. Each of us must find our own unique way.

You might consult a mental health professional in your community who could help settle this matter. Perhaps there is a wise elder who can offer sage advice.

I’m sorry that I could not offer more assistance. Thanks for your question and good luck.

Dr. Kristina Randle



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