Will I Ever Lead a Normal Life?

From Austria: Will I ever lead a normal life with what I have done and my troubled childhood?

I grew up with constant physical and emotional abuse coming from my parents and my brother. At school I got bullied because of my ethnicity. My parents are asian and I grew up in Austria.

Also I saw my brother and father having physical fights constantly. My father would even get angry at my mother and hit her.

Now that I have become an adult, I realized that I have anger issues as well. I have slapped my mother and I feel terrible for doing so. Also I have thrown things across the room, when I got angry at my parents. These anger outburst have so far only happened within my family. I don’t know what to do. I am scared that because of what I have done and my troublesome childhood I won’t be able to ever have a relationship, because no one would want someone like me as a romantic partner.

As a child I believed life would get better for me one day and that my terrible childhood will prepare me for the future, but now I feel like I have no positive future.

I don’t know what to do next. Thank you for reading my text

A: The first steps for making change are acknowledging that there is a problem and feeling motivated to change. You’ve made those important steps. Now it’s time to make the next one.

If you could manage your anger on your own, you would have done so already. It’s time for you to reach out for some help. A mental health counselor will help you learn the coping skills you didn’t have the opportunity to learn as a child. With coaching and support, someone as sensitive and caring as you are will make progress very quickly.

You are right to be concerned about yourself. When a person hasn’t learned how to handle anger appropriately, it can spill out in ways that damage relationships. The good news is that you are young, you are not in denial about the problem, you are articulate, and you want to change. That all makes you an ideal candidate for making change through therapy.

Another resource for you is a forum or support group here at PsychCentral.

I wish you well,
Dr. Marie

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