My fiance and I separated. I’ve come to realize we both relied on each other a lot and didn’t have the best communication. The day he left, he said that he wouldn’t cheat or fall in love with someone else. He told me he just needed some time alone. He texted and called me everyday. Sometimes he’d be angry, but other times he’d agree to really talk and work on things. Now I’m at his apartment for a week, and it’s on and off. He’ll say he loves me, we were intimate. He’ll cuddle me. But he says we’re just friends. I came here to talk about repairing things and prove to him I can be independent. But I don’t know how to help him move on with the past. I don’t know how to improve our trust in each other and communication. He’s giving me so many mixed signals.
A: The mixed signals are on both sides. If you tolerate his actions it gives him the implicit message that his behavior is something you’ll complain about but continue to go along with.
Tell him what you need, and ask him if he is willing to work toward that. Only in this way can both of your stop sending mixed signals and determine if you can move forward.
Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral
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