Help Me Study Better and Remember What I’ve Studied

From Algeria: Dear Therapist. i am just sorry to contact you for a studying problem that might have an underlying psychological issue.

in fact after getting graduated with a master in law i was the first student of my class room (2016), in the same year a administrative decision was taken by the minister that in order to study in the phd degree you should pass an exam in all the fields of your studying area and one selected field (in law surely) and that “there is no deference between the first student and the last one, every one has got to pass the national exam” another professor told me that if you won the first rank, than you should be asked why! (Means that I need to prove that i am worthy, it’s like he said that five years of studying and passing more than 10 exams and getting the best marks in most subjects its not a solid proof of my ability!)

that’s why i am still unable to win that exam and i feel angry and fully charged when i try to study for it (can’t even go deep), and i feel really sad when i see last ranked or less ranked student get passed the exam but honestly i do not envy them at all.
another case i saw three student that was first in their class rooms and still the “national phd exam” beating theme for two years and i see the frustration & the unsatisfying emotion in their face, it’s like being “kicked out”!

please dear therapist if you can just advise me to get rid of those feelings, and give me some tips to use them to get my psychic situation better. and if you can just give me a list of Technics that help me study better and remember what I’ve studied.
thank you very much and warm regards!

A: I don’t think you have an underlying psychological problem. I think you are trying to find a rational way to deal with an irrational problem. Clearly, the situation has nothing to do with you. I don’t know what the minister is trying to do. It does seem like he doesn’t necessarily want top students to get into top jobs. This has to be very, very frustrating and discouraging and angry-making.

The only way to manage it, I think, is to tell yourself that, yes, it is all unreasonable but that you still have to do whatever it is that you have to do to pursue the profession you want so much. Remind yourself that the situation isn’t fair, but you have no power to change it. You have to just follow the rules to get where you want to go despite the unfairness.

Then do what you’ve always done successfully. Study. Take the exam and get your usual top score. One of my favorite quotes is by George Herbert, a 16th century English poet and writer. He said, “Living well is the best revenge.” In your case, showing them what you are capable of is your best revenge on an unfair system. Hopefully, once you are in a job, you’ll gain some authority to make changes that will benefit the people coming after you.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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