Trying to Be Empathetic and Sincere But Failing

Hello. I am sure this has been asked before but I figured I would try anyway. I am confused about myself. Not that I am sad, or depressed, quite the opposite. I don’t care about people… Weird to say, but I just can’t relate with them. I can’t feel their pain, I can’t sympathize. I can’t anything! I don’t feel bad about it either. I realized that I play this role of being a friendly person, pretending to understand others and their idiotic problems. No offence to anyone. It’s like people make such big fusses about little things, like “oh no I broke my phone, I’m gonna die.” I just don’t understand. I even think about hurting people, sometimes more than just hurt. I thought, maybe I’m some type of sociopath or psychopath. But I do have feelings, somewhat. I can be excited about getting new art supplies, and I love my cat very much. So I couldn’t possibly be emotionless. I don’t know. I am going to get a therapist as soon as possible. I have been through a lot through my life/childhood, including the death of my father due to drugs. I also lived in a very violent home, in extreme poverty and am now living in a single parent household. I was hoping to get some opinions? I know this is not an actual diagnosis. I am quite aware. I don’t really know anything about this website, let alone if this is the type of stuff put on here, but oh well. Farewell.

A: Thank you for getting in touch. I am glad to hear that you are planning to find a therapist as I believe that will be very helpful to you. It sounds like you have been through quite a lot. Everyone processes traumatic experiences in different ways and it sounds as though it is possible that you have been distancing yourself emotionally for quite some time. While, as you stated, I am unable to give you a diagnosis, it does sound as though it is possible you are experiencing depressive related symptoms. Depression can manifest in a number of ways and look different among different individuals. Rather than being “emotionless,” it is likely that you are emotionally detached which is not uncommon after incurring psychological trauma. This is something that can certainly be worked on therapy and I encourage you to address these concerns with your therapist. Best of luck to you.

Dr. Mimi

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