Just as a background I grew up in a normal household with no issues. In the transition between high school and middle school I started enjoying books, arts, sciences, etc more than my friends. Interests changed. I would also like to point out that Ive never been in a relationship nor have been sexually active.
So here I am at 29; still enjoy the arts, sciences, etc. I do have a small group of friends, which I intend to keep that way. I dont have any social media accounts, but I do play video games and have quite a bit since I was young. I have confided in them about life issues, asking for advice on things and have given the same in return whether in person or over texts/calls. Im a quiet and reserved girl who enjoys observing others. I have turned down requests to go out to bars, concerts, and other activities due to the fact that I just want to have my time.
Well one day one of my friends said it’s unnatural to want to be alone so much. Im not depressed – far from it; I dont feel anxiety when I speak to people or in front of a group and I do engage in discussions if I feel what I have to say adds to the conversation. If I get asked personal questions I get a bit suspicious depending on the context and how long Ive known the person. Im not looking to avoid contact; Im more than happy to just leave it be and let it come to me. I have no trouble going out if it severely peaks my interest or if absolutely necessary to complete a task. I am nothing but satisfied with how my life is going.
With my job I spend hours answering phone calls, emails, instructing users on systems and repairing tech both in person and remotely. Even though I do enjoy the conversations I have with friends I feel more drained at the end of a work shift and would prefer to spend my time and my days off relaxing on my own terms. Is this truly something that I should be concerned about? (From the USA)
A: I think there are two sides to the answer here. It sounds at once that you are content and happy with your life as it is — and this is exactly one of the points that is made by author Susan Cain in her book: Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. On the other side of the coin is, perhaps, a lack of intimacy. Not having an intimate relationship at 29 is not typical, and perhaps closer to what your friend was concerned about.
Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral
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