Me and my boyfriend have been together for 6 years now. He lives with me. Sometimes he is very cold to my son. He is a quiet guy that does not really like to be bothered. He gets annoyed with me too when I bug him. He has said that he is the type of guy that shouldn’t be in a relationship because he likes his space. Well, last night was the last straw for me. My son had gotten him something for father’s day (not his dad) and he brought it over to his desk tried to talk to him and he said not right now and my son was yelling over him saying it’s important and my boyfriend yelled at him and he started crying and came and told me. I went in and talked to my boyfriend and he said it doesn’t matter what he needed to talk to me about he needs to wait. Then later my son came in again to apologize to him for bothering him and yelled at him again. I really think I’ve had it with this. I love my boyfriend and sometimes him and my son have lots of fun together, he’s been around since he was 2. He’s 8 now. But This happens too much and my son should not be treated this way. Am I making the right decision breaking up with him or should I talk to him and see if things change?
A: Yes, it’s not worth having a boyfriend who doesn’t know how to respect your son. Since I don’t know the particulars (like if your boyfriend has children from a previous marriage or relationship, or if he has never been a parent), you could give him a chance to earn the right to be in a relationship with you and your son. This would requite the two of you to go to a marriage and family counselor to explain what the expectations are. If agrees to go, that’s a good start. If he doesn’t, it is a good indication you need to move on.
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