Consumed by Certain Fantasies and Lack of Empathy

Recently I have been consumed by certain fantasies and lack of empathy. When I see people in the street I wonder what it would be like to kill them(mostly out of boredom), and I have thought of ways I would do it – I’m particularly intrigued by poison or psychologically engineering a suicide because it’s quite passive(not violent/bloody). However, I don’t think I would ever do anything to hurt anyone, to be honest, I think 1) out of laziness and 2) I would want to be 100% sure I would get away with it. I’m an INTJ personality so I am meticulously organized and analytical. I have recently been very withdrawn socially and realized my relationships with people/conversations are quite superficial and I do it just because I sometimes need friends. However, while I feel like I can switch my empathy ‘off’ (stop caring), I do care very deeply for some people, and I love helping my loved ones and making their lives better. So I don’t understand why I can be a caring person as well as regularly lack empathy / feel superficially charming and manipulative and have fantasies are urges to hurt people? I’ve taken the Hare psychopathy checklist and scored 29, but like I said I can feel empathy when I want to, so I’m not sure that’s really accurate. Please let me know what you think and any advice (I know this isn’t clinical advice and I don’t think I need professional help, its not THAT bad). But still, appreciate any thoughts. (From England)

I don’t share your conclusion that you wouldn’t profit from professional help. Boredom and laziness are not typically viewed as the source of killing fantasies. By your own reflection these fantasies don’t make sense if you score high on psychopathology and yet can also feel genuine empathy. Since you are interested, I’d recommend adding to your efforts at self-diagnosis with at least an initial interview with a clinical psychologist or psychiatrist. He or she can offer you some ideas about what might be going on — and perhaps more importantly, what can be done to help reduce these intrusive thoughts. You university’s counseling center should have some qualified people you can talk to.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

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