I’d been seeing this guy for maybe two weeks and I hadn’t ever kissed anyone before him. he kissed me and that was all fine but then later when I was half asleep he just wouldn’t stop touching and trying to make out with me. I told him that was enough and he’d stop for a bit but then just keep doing it. it made me feel uncomfortable so in the end I just lay there and pretended to be asleep. Over the next few days I kind of brushed the whole thing off saying that he only did it because he liked me but after a while I realized I just couldn’t stop thinking about it. I broke up with him a while ago now but I still think about it all the time and it makes me feel sick and really embarrassed. I feel like I can’t be in another relationship because the very idea of kissing someone makes me remember what happened. But at the same time, I feel like I’m over reacting and the only reason I felt uncomfortable is because I’m so frigid. I just don’t know what to think about the whole thing and I don’t want it to ruin my chance at new relationships. I currently find it hard to see myself being happy in a relationship and I don’t know what to do. Please help! (From Australia)
A: My best guess is that what is most troubling is you not responding and pretending to be asleep. Putting the focus on him rather than on your reaction is likely to be where the discomfort is. I would recommend you talk to a therapist about this reaction as it is likely to be closer to the source of your discomfort.
Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral
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