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Saturday, 28 September 2019

The Rules of Living in a Narcissistic Family

Every family has unspoken rules like: don’t wake mom when she is taking a nap, no matter what it tastes like say dad’s cooking is good, or always clean before...

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Why does my mom pick fights with me?

From a 19 year old guy in the U.S.: My mom picks a fight with me whenever we are in the same room. I have tried to help solve it but whenever I do she just disregards my advice/ compromise. Even when my mom is angry over something my sister did she would still take her anger out on me. Whenever we do argue, she points out flaws in my life, and whenever I try to tell her what flaws she has she just gets even angrier.

Even while doing something peaceful she still wants to start a fight. Yesterday I was watching a movie with her and in the middle of it she started arguing with me because of the way I was sitting.

Even when I’m playing a game she still finds a way to argue with me.

So at 19, you are living in your mom’s house. What’s that about? You didn’t mention if you are still in school or if you have graduated high school and working. Regardless, you are at an age when the expectation in our culture is that you will be getting ready to leave “home” and start living an adult life.

It’s not unusual for parents and teens who are on the cusp of leaving home to start fighting. It’s part of the process of separation. After all, if everything was warm and fuzzy, why would a kid ever want to leave? Why would a parent ever want them to leave either?

It’s not unusual for the parents and kids start finding fault with each other. As one of my funnier friends once said to me, “The last month of pregnancy and the last month of high school are the same. You just want the kid out!” She loved her kids. She didn’t want a rift in the relationship. She was just acknowledging that the time had come for her kids to live an independent life.

I think you and your mom aren’t fighting about what you are fighting about. I think you and your mother are having difficulty facing the next steps. If you aren’t already talking about what you will do next, then that discussion has to happen. If finances or schooling requires you to still live with your family, then there needs to be a discussion about a shift in your role and responsibilities as another adult in the household, not as one of the kids. That would mean assuming more of the chores and perhaps contributing financially. It would also mean that your parents need to get comfortable with you having more independence even while living with them.

The families that get through this shift in roles are those that talk about it carefully and directly. I hope you and your folks take the time to figure it out together.

I wish you well,

Dr. Marie

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Three Simple Approaches to Dream Analysis

Last night my 5-year-old woke up startled and needed a hug. He told me he had dreamt of me, and in the dream I fell from a great height and was hurt. I explained that sometimes we dream things like that because we have a feeling that we need to work out. Dreams can feel very real and very scary, but they are really just ways of exploring something that we need to process, even if it is uncomfortable.

As adults we tend to place a great emphasis on the meaning of our dreams. We are, after all, meaning making beings. Our survival depends on deriving the meaning of our experiences to better inform our existence.

Many people derive satisfaction from analyzing the symbolism of objects in their dreams. There are many books published as encyclopedia type manuals that give insight into the possible meaning of symbols found in dreams. These symbols are usually associated with common feelings associated with the objects or ancient mythology about their power.

There are many other approaches to dream analysis, as well. It is important to remember dreaming is a complicated brain activity from which deriving any meaning requires taking into consideration many individual factors. Below, I have listed three simple, overarching approaches to consider:

What did you feel?

The feeling you experience overall throughout the dream can sometimes be more significant than events that actually transpire. Maybe you’ve dreamt about your teeth falling out or standing naked in front of a crowd. But how did those things make you feel? Embarrassed? Anxious? Exposed? Those feelings are often powerful indicators of messaging your subconscious is trying to express. Our minds use experiences we’ve had or experiences we could imagine that would produce the type of emotional response in our bodies that would communicate the feeling that should be addressed.

Once you’ve identified the feeling, try to think of other, real experiences in which you felt that way. Did something happen recently that evoked the same emotion?

This concept can work in reverse, too. Often people will wake up highly confused after they recount having dreamt of someone from their past. Their focus is often on the surprise of remembering someone from long ago or that does not seem important or relevant to their daily lives anymore.

But I would ask them the same question, what did that person make you feel? What did you feel during the time of your life that you were close to that person? The clue is often not about the person, at all. It is more about your subconscious searching for representations in which to bring a certain emotional response to your attention.

What did you leave out?

Sigmund Freud’s psychoanalysis theory was built on the supposition that there is always a less obvious, underlying cause to our behavior. It makes sense that his theories on dream analysis followed a similar pattern. Freud believed there to be both an obvious meaning and a latent, or hidden, meaning within dreams. His work was sometimes criticized for how often he interpreted the latent meaning to be sexual in nature. Regardless of the actual interpretation, I think it’s true that we can easily become distracted by the overt messaging in our dreams, when really, the more significant meaning is found in details less dramatic or obvious.

Whenever someone tells me about a dream they had, I patiently listen and wait for them to finish. And then, I ask them, “Now, what part did you almost tell me, but then you decided to leave out? Maybe because you thought it wasn’t important enough to include? Or it involved complicated emotions that might convolute the storyline? Or maybe it just seemed like a minuscule detail?”

That may actually be the part to which you want to pay attention.

Detach from the literal.

Dreams are abstract. They are the complementary opposite to our rational, organized, waking ways of thinking. Our dreaming minds tend to draw from our literal experiences, but they do not have the same physical and social limitations that we operate under during waking life. Creativity abounds in the production department of dream making. When deriving meaning from dreams, try to detach yourself from literal, linear interpretation. Telling someone else about your dream can sometimes open up new perspectives you may not have otherwise considered. Brainstorming the relationships between events or representations in your dreams can help draw new connections beyond the obvious ones.

Our dreams can be a fascinating, mirrored landscape of our everyday lives. As individual as our waking lives and dynamics can be, so too is our interpretation of our own dreams. Only you will know the true source of a dream representation, because it comes from your own unique, dreaming mind.

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Psychology Around the Net: September 28, 2019

Dive into this week’s Psychology Around the Net for the latest on better understanding the nuances of today’s casual relationships, how Americans feel politics are affecting their stress levels, relationships, and sleep, tips to reduce your exaggerated emotions, and more!

Stressed Out: Americans Making Themselves Sick Over Politics: Surely this comes as a surprise to no one. New research from the University of Nebraska-Lincoln reports that nearly 40% of survey participants says politics is stressing them out; 4% said they’ve had suicidal thoughts related to politics. One in five participants report losing sleep over politics, and 20% said political disagreements have damaged their friendships. Says political scientist and the study’s lead author Kevin Smith: “If we understand what’s causing it, that can lead us to ameliorative strategies. I think it’s critically important that we push this out to other political scientists. We’ve already handed it over to a couple of psychologists to include on some of the surveys they’re doing, so we will start to get a little clearer picture and a little bit more traction on some of the questions we have.

Change Yourself Without Judging Yourself: Learn how to use kind attention and determination, rather than judgment and shame, to catch and correct those nasty mental habits you’re working to change.

Casual Relationships: Are There More Than One Kind? Not only are there multiple kinds of casual relationships, but also there are multiple reasons for engaging in them. A recent Canadian study ran four focus groups with 23 participants between the ages of 18 and 24; afterward, they were able to identify four types of casual relationships (omitting “casual dating”), five characteristics that influence each type of casual relationship, and several reasons why casual relationships can have both positive and negative aspects.

The NBA Has a New Mental Health Plan. What About the WNBA? Back in August, the NBA made policy changes to provide more mental health resources for its athletes after they pushed for better coverage. The WNBA finals begin on Sunday (September 29, 2019) and once they’re over the league is expected to enter some crucial off-season discussions of its own, including — you guessed it — discussions about its own mental health care coverage. Among the female athletes’ chief concerns are having access to the same resources as the male athletes, creating a congruency in mental health care from team to team, and tailoring the program so that it fits their chaotic schedules. The Jed Foundation’s chief medical officer Dr. Victor Schwartz works with both the NBA and WNBA and says the programs must be catered to the athletes for them to be successful: “An excellent mental health program for a sports league should look like an excellent program for any community, in that it’s tailored to the specific needs, challenges and resources of the particular population.”

Man’s Brain Tumor Was Misdiagnosed as Mental Illness for Six Years: 68-year-old New Zealander Frank Sullivan was diagnosed with depression and anxiety back in 2008, and spent six years trying — unsuccessfully — to treat his symptoms with numerous medications and psychiatric hospital stays. Finally in 2014, Sullivan found a doctor who performed a physical neurological and cognitive exam and found a benign tumor deep in the cranium cavity between the brow and nose called an olfactory groove meningioma. Four weeks later, he underwent surgery, the tumor was successfully removed, and a spotlight’s been shone on all the easily preventable mistakes made along the way.

Tips to Reduce Exaggerated Emotions: As Aaron Karmin points out, some stress is healthy; it can help us conquer challenges and give us a sense of purpose in life. However, too much tension and pressure for long periods of time can take a serious toll on our lives, including our relationships and health. We all know there are ways to combat and reduce stress, but too often we’re sucked into thinking if we just follow this one tip or this particular set of steps, we can manage all stressors. Well, that’s not feasible. That’s why Karmin provides more than three dozen techniques for us to mix and match and find the perfect combos for various stressful times in our lives.

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Why We Forget Most Of Our Dreams (M)

Scientists think one of the functions of sleep is to forget excess information.

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The Common Drink Linked To Weight Loss

A couple of cups per day may be enough to have an effect on weight loss.

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Day #40 : The Normal Approximation (Poisson) – 365 DoA

You have all been really patient with seeing how we tie these last few posts together and frankly I think that we are on track to do that in the next post. Today however we have one more thing to introduce then we can bring it all together, that would be yet another normal (again we usually refer to this as the gaussian) distribution. If you recall I hinted at this a few days ago in the Poisson pdf post. Let's look at what this means and why we would want to use this.

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What Cain and Abel Can Teach Us About Mass Shootings

But unto Cain … [the Lord] had no respect. And Cain was very wroth, and his countenance fell. Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is...

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10 Helpful Ways You Can Respond to Stress

You might not be able to change what is stressing you out, but you can control how you react and respond to stress. If you notice that you’re showing signs of stress, here are some things you can do to help yourself.

1. Leave the Room.

Getting up and removing yourself from the stressful situation can be a huge help. A brief change of scenery can help put some distance between you and your overwhelming feelings. If you’re in class, take a quick walk to the bathroom. Buried in homework? Take 60 seconds to walk to the kitchen for a glass of water.

2. Organize.

Pick something small: your desk, your closet, or your to-do list are all great choices. Spend 20 minutes focused on tidying up—it will help you feel in control of something and give you a sense of accomplishment.

3. Do Some Breathing Exercises.

Think about how you breathe when you’re relaxed—like when you’re about to fall asleep. Slow and deep, right? Forcing yourself to breathe this way is one of the best ways to bring on calmer feelings. Try 4-7-8 breathing to start: inhale through your nose for 4 seconds, hold for 7 seconds, exhale through your mouth for 8 seconds. Breathe2Relax and Breathe are two good apps for guided breathing exercises.

4. Write It Out.

When your feelings start to bubble up and get overwhelming, putting them on paper can help you untangle them. Try a stream of consciousness exercise: 10 minutes of writing down all your thoughts without hesitating. Or make a list of things stressing you out—seeing them reduced to bullet points can help you think more clearly.

5. Meditate.

Meditation triggers your body’s “relaxation response” – the complete opposite of the common stress response of “fight or flight”. It slows your breathing, blood pressure, and pulse—all things that go along with being in a calm state of mind. Learn the basics here. You can also try apps like Calm, Sanvello, and Headspace.

6. Watch Something Funny.

Putting on a funny show or video will help take your mind off of everything going on for a little bit. And laughter really can be the best medicine! It’s known to reduce mental stress and bring on feelings of relaxation.

7. Exercise.

One of the best ways to handle built-up stress is to physically release it. Lace up your sneakers and head outside for a run–your feet pounding against the pavement is sure to help you get some frustration out.

8. Write Down 3 Things You’re Grateful For.

Showing gratitude is known to improve mood and help you better handle adversity–so not only is it a good way to reduce your immediate stress, but it can help you keep your future stress level down, too. And when you write down a few things you’re thankful for, you can always look back at your list when you start to feel that stress bubbling up again.

9. Talk It Out.

Sometimes when we’re stressed, everything little problem seems like a big deal. Talking to a friend, parent, teacher, coach, or someone else you trust can help you get out of your own head and see things from a different point of view. Try using the NotOK app to help you reach out to others when you’re feeling overly stressed.

10. Light a Candle or Diffuse Essential Oils.

Scents can trigger very powerful emotional responses, and some are particularly good at inducing relaxation. Try lavender, lemon, and jasmine scents – all known for alleviating tension.

This post courtesy of Mental Health America.

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Don’t Pressure Every Kid with ASD to “Make Friends” or “Socialize More”

People, with or without autism spectrum disorder, have their own unique personality and temperament. Many people may also have diagnosed or undiagnosed behavioral health disorders based upon DSM criteria. In...

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10 Good Things About ABA: Benefits of Applied Behavior Analysis

One of the most common definitions of applied behavior analysis – also known as ABA – is “the science in which tactics derived from the principles of behavior are applied...

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Disgust: A Natural Emotional Response to Abuse

Disgust is an emotion about which I never gave much thought. It was just something that happened to me if I caught a stomach virus or ate something disagreeable. But...

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Friday, 27 September 2019

The 7 Main Types of Abuse

Most state protective services constitute abuse to be neglect, sexual, or physical. But a bruise should not be a requirement for proof of abusive behavior. There are many other ways...

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Potential Abuse from Stepfather

At the age of 12 I lost my biological father from a rapid stroke. I’ve witnessed the moment when the stroke happened and when his body was convulsing on the sofa while I watched and cried terrified. A few years later by my encouragement, my mother registered on the single dating site. She successfully found this man who might be the beginning of all my next troubles. Maybe a whole year has passed by and I as a fresh model was insisting to live in the capital city of Poland as it was easier for me to continue my modeling carrier and get a better education. My mother agreed but insisted that I would live with this man that she was in a relationship with for a year or so. I agreed. I liked him somewhat. One of the first red flags was the thought that I had while entering the new “home” do the neighbors think that I am his girlfriend or something? (at the time I was around 16 and he was over 50). My mother was to visit me and him every other weekend or we would visit her (4hr ride distance). At the agency, I was constantly encouraged to get “skinnier” and lose weight. Once like every other visit, the agency told me to lose some weight. After coming home, I told this man about this (he was very invested in my loosing-weight journey as in many other things e.g. school). He proposed to me this massaging machine and told me that it might help. So I took it and tried to massage the front and back of my lower part of the body (hips, thighs). Throughout the days he has been insisting to help me with massaging myself because I “could not do this properly myself”. I rejected his offer once or twice but at the end, I gave up. So there I was, laying down on the bed while he was putting oil and massaging my legs with this massaging machine. I had shorts on and thrown over a towel on the shorts. Yet I felt naked. I tried to do something on my phone or talk to him. Just to break the silence. The worst part was when he was massaging me near my private places and between the legs with this thing. I want to underline that he never penetrated me or anything. And because of that, I am so confused. Because it wasn’t abuse now was it? After that, it maybe occurred a few times more. I remember that I just wanted to tell my mother what had happened but I just brushed it off. After that on the spectrum of years, I have suffered from depression, suicidal thoughts and failing at committing suicide, self-harm, thinking I was a male —suffering from gender dysphoria (I still would like to change gender), suffering from Ptsd and recently at age 19, being diagnosed with Asperger syndrome. In the meantime, I was having non-major eating disorders, undiagnosed and untold. I am currently on antidepressants and recently I got myself drunk and cut my leg by scissors. The fact of potential abuse and Asperger syndrome is constantly on my mind. I want to tell my mother and my therapist is encouraging it but I didn’t think she can handle it. I am living alone at my apartment now so I don’t have to see very often that garbage that this man is. I hate him yet I don’t think my feelings are.. valid or legit? I am confused. (From Poland)

There is a lot here — and you’ve displayed a great deal of courage by explaining all of this in your email. I am very glad you are working with a therapist. Having someone guide you through all of this is important.

Since the therapist thought it was a good idea to tell your mom, ask him or her if they would be willing to have a session where you invite your mom in to talk about what you are thinking and feeling — and perhaps to then talk about what happened. This is a very difficult situation you are in, but the fact that you ate still caught in the middle between having these feelings and the man still with your mother makes it particularly uncomfortable.

These things typically have many layers. To begin with, the internal conflict you are having and struggle with your mental well-being isn’t known by your mother. If the therapist is recommending and is willing. Taking care of this layer of communicating with your mom is important. I’d begin by talking to your therapist about this prospect and then take it from there. Keeping it a secret may be causing many of the difficulties or at least contributing to them.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

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Potential Abuse from Stepfather

At the age of 12 I lost my biological father from a rapid stroke. I’ve witnessed the moment when the stroke happened and when his body was convulsing on the sofa while I watched and cried terrified. A few years later by my encouragement, my mother registered on the single dating site. She successfully found this man who might be the beginning of all my next troubles. Maybe a whole year has passed by and I as a fresh model was insisting to live in the capital city of Poland as it was easier for me to continue my modeling carrier and get a better education. My mother agreed but insisted that I would live with this man that she was in a relationship with for a year or so. I agreed. I liked him somewhat. One of the first red flags was the thought that I had while entering the new “home” do the neighbors think that I am his girlfriend or something? (at the time I was around 16 and he was over 50). My mother was to visit me and him every other weekend or we would visit her (4hr ride distance). At the agency, I was constantly encouraged to get “skinnier” and lose weight. Once like every other visit, the agency told me to lose some weight. After coming home, I told this man about this (he was very invested in my loosing-weight journey as in many other things e.g. school). He proposed to me this massaging machine and told me that it might help. So I took it and tried to massage the front and back of my lower part of the body (hips, thighs). Throughout the days he has been insisting to help me with massaging myself because I “could not do this properly myself”. I rejected his offer once or twice but at the end, I gave up. So there I was, laying down on the bed while he was putting oil and massaging my legs with this massaging machine. I had shorts on and thrown over a towel on the shorts. Yet I felt naked. I tried to do something on my phone or talk to him. Just to break the silence. The worst part was when he was massaging me near my private places and between the legs with this thing. I want to underline that he never penetrated me or anything. And because of that, I am so confused. Because it wasn’t abuse now was it? After that, it maybe occurred a few times more. I remember that I just wanted to tell my mother what had happened but I just brushed it off. After that on the spectrum of years, I have suffered from depression, suicidal thoughts and failing at committing suicide, self-harm, thinking I was a male —suffering from gender dysphoria (I still would like to change gender), suffering from Ptsd and recently at age 19, being diagnosed with Asperger syndrome. In the meantime, I was having non-major eating disorders, undiagnosed and untold. I am currently on antidepressants and recently I got myself drunk and cut my leg by scissors. The fact of potential abuse and Asperger syndrome is constantly on my mind. I want to tell my mother and my therapist is encouraging it but I didn’t think she can handle it. I am living alone at my apartment now so I don’t have to see very often that garbage that this man is. I hate him yet I don’t think my feelings are.. valid or legit? I am confused. (From Poland)

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

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7 Common Myths About Psychotherapy

There’s a meme promoted by some life coaches going around social media that is full of misinformation about psychotherapy, while comparing it to the benefits of “coaching.” In most states, coaching remains an unregulated field that allows anyone to hang up a shingle and call themselves a “life coach.” Therapists, on the other hand, need to be licensed in order to practice.

This leads to much confusion — confusion that is amplified by coaches themselves, as they try and market their services as something better than psychotherapy. Coaching is indeed different from psychotherapy, but there’s no research to suggest it’s better.

Psychotherapy is no longer some mysterious process where you lie down on a couch and recount your dreams to an analyst — and it hasn’t been that way for many decades. Instead, it’s a research-driven treatment that involves active engagement from a person in order to feel its benefits. Here are some of the common myths I’ve seen repeated on social media and elsewhere about psychotherapy.

1. Psychotherapy Focuses on Your Past & Is Passive

One of the more popular misconceptions is that psychotherapy primarily focuses on a person’s past and is a passive experience for the patient. Nothing could be farther from the truth.

While it’s true that some very specific types of psychotherapy — such as psychoanalytic therapy — focuses on a person’s past, most modern forms of psychotherapy spend very little time on a person’s past. Modern, popular forms of psychotherapy include cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and solutions-focused therapy.

A client who is passive in their therapy sessions will gain little benefit from treatment. Psychotherapy only works when the client is active and engaged, working toward mutually-agreed goals with the therapist.

2. Psychotherapy Isn’t Interested in Results or Solutions

I hear this one all the time as well. “Therapists don’t want their clients to get well, because then they lose a patient.” Well, true, but it’s the best kind of loss possible — one where the client has successfully completed an important chapter in their life.

Trust me when I say that few therapists look forward to the type of client who comes into their office every week and never changes their thoughts or behaviors. In fact, the best therapists use a treatment plan with defined objectives and goals for the client to meet over time.

3. Psychotherapy is All About Book Learning, Not Real Life Experiences

Imagine what a horrible therapist a person would have to be to sit in their office everyday and just regurgitate what they learned from a textbook in graduate school. Obviously, few therapists do this — especially if they’re more than a few years out of school.

Of course therapists bring everything they’ve learned from their multitude of experiences, not only from their own lives, but with the work they’ve done with dozens or hundreds of previous clients. In addition to that, their licensure requires them to take continuing education classes every year in order to keep their license valid. This means a therapist isn’t just bringing real life experiences into the session, but updated techniques and learning throughout their professional life.

4. Psychotherapy is Focused on Only People with Mental Illness

As in any broad-based profession, there is a wide range of concerns that therapists can focus on. This includes everything from professional career development and improving communication in a relationship to helping a person reach their best potential in their personal and family life. There are dozens of specialties in psychology alone that focus on different aspects of understanding individual human behavior.

Yes, most therapists also treat people with diagnosable mental health concerns. But that doesn’t mean they don’t also work with people who don’t qualify for a diagnosis. Most therapists that practice work with both kinds of people. You don’t have to be diagnosed with a mental illness in order to engage in and benefit from psychotherapy.

5. Psychotherapy Only Focuses On Your Feelings, Not Your Mind

Remember cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)? You’ll notice that it’s called cognitive — or thoughts — not feelings. While feelings can be important to process in therapy (and there are some infrequently-practiced forms of therapy that do focus more on feelings), most therapists today spend most of their time focusing on a person’s irrational and dysfunctional thoughts. And just as importantly, helping the person change them.

6. Psychotherapy Just Wants You to Talk About Things — Not Do Anything About Them

Coaches like to emphasize their “hands-on” approach to helping their clients, and sometimes suggest that therapy is just a lot of talking with very little doing. Good psychotherapy, however, requires both. A client who simply comes to therapy every week and talks without making any effort at change in their life in-between sessions is unlikely to heal or feel better.

But clients who actively engage in the psychotherapy process — which is actually most people in psychotherapy — do get better. They take an active role in their treatment, during therapy and in-between sessions.

7. Psychotherapy is Not Client-Centered

This is an odd myth to come across, given that there’s an entire type of therapy practiced by some therapists literally called “client-centered therapy” (or Rogerian therapy). Even for therapists who don’t engage in this specific approach, most therapists don’t barrel into each session with their own agenda and focus. Instead, a good therapist takes their cue from the client, and paces the session based on the client’s needs.

Unlike coaching, however, therapists aren’t there to simply listen to whatever is going on with the client and give them advice. Instead, therapists work with clients to help them find proactive approaches that are going to work best for them and their situation, and help them learn new techniques to improve their life, communication, or relationship skills.

* * *

While I don’t see much benefit in engaging a life coach, some people do. I think that’s great. But I also think that it helps to understand that anything you can see a life coach for, you can also see a therapist for too (while the reverse is most definitely not true). Therapy encompasses a wide array of professions and professionals, many who focus on areas of self-improvement, personal development, and growth.

While therapists may not be as good at marketing themselves as life coaches are, they are usually the safer choice. Psychotherapy is well-regulated and licensed, and a therapist’s experience is notated by their educational degree and professional training.

Looking for a new therapist? We’ve got you covered with the Psych Central Therapist Directory!

Related: 6 Common Therapy Myths

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The Best Supplement For Treating Depression (M)

Massive review of many studies reveals the nutritional supplements that help treat mental health problems.

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The Herb That Boosts Weight Loss

The extract stimulates the"good" fat in the body, resulting in weight loss.

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Day #39 : The Normal Approximation (De Moivre-Laplace) – 365 DoA

Well we haven't covered the binomial distribution, but it should be vaguely familiar if you've been keeping up, specifically if you've already read about the gaussian pdf. Today we are going to talk about what the binomial distribution is and how it relates to the normal distribution. So let's get into it and see how it relates to some of the topics we've been covering!

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The Grief of Self-Growth and Healthy Narcissism

We all know self-growth is good. But we rarely talk about the grief that comes with growth. As our perceptions shift, we experience grief because the person we used to be missed so much of what the new person we have become is now aware of.

Almost 20 years ago, when I was a Marriage and Family Therapist Intern, I was in a supervision group with a woman named Renee. Renee died a few years after we were both licensed. She was in her 40’s.

I didn’t know Renee well. I had been focused on learning and developing my skillset, and so I saw Renee as just another person in our group. Part of the problem was that this particular supervision group was based more on competition than support and cooperation. It supported each of our narcissisms — certainly mine. I was doing my best to be a shiny and talented new therapist.

At that time, I needed to see myself, and I needed to be seen far more than I was able to recognize and validate others. I was hungry for approval and recognition.

Why?

I had grown up in a family where life revolved around my father’s needs. He was the hungry one who demanded he be catered to. He had needed to find his specialness because he not only wasn’t affirmed as a child, but he had suffered a lot of harsh punishment growing up.

His needs hijacked the needs of the rest of us. As a result, my siblings and I were starving emotionally. We were not seen as the wonderful little growing beings that we were. Instead, we were hinderances and bothers. That environment sets up a need (certainly in me) to be seen, and for my own specialness to be recognized. My unmet narcissistic need became an undercurrent in my striving, and it blocked me from fully appreciating the beauty of others.

In a child, narcissism is supported by understanding that children need to say, “This is mine,” and behave as if the world revolves around them. Supporting this allows that child to grow up into an adult who enjoys themselves and their impact on the planet. As an adult, healthy narcissism means we can acknowledge and enjoy our creativity, our talents, and accomplishments. And at the same time, we have a concern and interest in others. There is a balance.

When this narcissism has not been supported as a child, we can grow up with a hunger to be seen and recognized, coupled with a sense of low self-esteem. While narcissism is healthy in a child and deserves to be supported, it is far less healthy in an adult when it is a hunger rather than a recognition of our self-worth and enjoyment of our abilities.

That hunger blocks our ability to take in others. It is similar to when a person, instead of listening to the person they are conversing with, is planning what they will be saying next. The focus is not on the connection between the two people but rather, on the self.

My grief erupted around Renee’s death. As I watched a tribute to her, I cried. She had a beautiful spirt. I could feel it in the pictures of her. I hadn’t fully seen her spirit when I knew her. I hadn’t been able to recognize who she was. I was so used to striving and attempting to fill my own needs, that I missed what was beautiful in her.

There is always grief when we pass through a gate of consciousness and see what we missed by being more closed previously. This is part of growing and seeing new perspectives and vistas — and understanding the limits of the previous stage of consciousness.

There are so many beautiful people. It is not so much about knowing them all and maintaining relationships but rather about recognizing their beauty. That is what I am grieving. I have missed appreciating so much beauty.

With Renee, it was not that I wanted to spend more time with her, it was just that I wished I had been more able to honor her beingness — her spirit, that I could have more fully recognized her value when I had contact with her.

I am grateful that the gates of consciousness have opened. I have so much more appreciation for others now. And I am so much less hungry to be seen. I am grateful for my grief, for it alerts me to my shift in consciousness and my growth. I can not only see but feel how much I have matured.

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Red and Blue Voters Live in Different Economies

Wow... if you want some graphics that powerfully describe our current political malaise, check out Edsall's Op-Ed piece in the NYTimes. Here is a graph showing how economic output and income for Democratic and Republican House districts diverged over the last decade - two different economies that are diverging rapidly:

Another Edsall piece notes that insecurity caused by rapid cultural change as well as economic insecurity has generated a class of voters who feel powerless and angry, and actually feel a need for the chaos Trump generates - that they hope might disrupt the system that disadvantages them.

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Thursday, 26 September 2019

Depressed & Lonely

To be honest I’m not the best at explaining so I’ll just tell you my main conflicts.
1. My whole life has been a social failure. In school I was always treated terrible for being awkward and a little different due to my autistic nature to the point where it felt like I was hated for absolutely no reason. Since then I feel like it’s taken a toll on me mentally and emotionally because all I ever wanted was some friends that actually cared about me but anytime it looked like I was close to something like that I was painfully let down one way or another and due to that I am incredibly shy, uncommunicative, and hopeless that I’ll ever actually gain the social life I’ve always wanted
2. In addition to having some true friends I’d also like to try dating and possibly find my future companion. The problem with that though is due to my terrible social skills and trauma from my social failures, I’m terrified to talk to girls.
3. In my life there is constantly forces being my control impeding me from being as productive as I’d like to be or preventing me from progressing to my goals in life and as a result I end up getting really depressed and feel restless and worthless.
4. I lack self-esteem. Whenever it seems like life is trying to hint me towards something that would improve life or bring me joy I always back away from that help as I’m afraid of the affects it could have on me or my life as a whole. Either that or I don’t have the willpower to try to improve myself or my life.
5.I feel like I’m always at the center of hostile drama between two people in my life and it emotionally exhausts me to say the least.
6. I have a passion in life that I’m more than committed towards making it a reality but with no support and the emptiness I feel I’m practically clueless as to how I turn this dream into my reality.

You may be correct in how you have characterized yourself, but it’s also possible that your self-assessment is incorrect. Consider this statement for instance: “my whole life has been a social failure.” That is a wholesale condemnation of your ability to create a social life. That is your perspective, but as you noted in your letter, you are depressed and thus may be prone to filtering all aspects of yourself through the lens of negativity.

What would an objective assessment of your social life look like? Would it match yours? You could benefit from consulting a therapist. They can provide an objective opinion about circumstances regarding subjective matters. Would a therapist agree with your self-assessment?

People tend not to be objective about themselves. They often over or under emphasize certain traits and characteristics about themselves. There are a myriad of cognitive biases and distortions you can read about.

People with depression often have inaccurate views of themselves. They will often think negative things about themselves such as they’re no good, they’re unlovable, they’re complete failures, no one likes them, everyone else is doing better than they are, the list goes on. In short, they tend to see themselves as failures compared to everyone else. However, whenever you examine their lives, in more detail, you often find that they minimize the many good aspects of their lives and overemphasize any (perceived) negative aspects of their lives.

Some of the more common cognitive distortions associated with depression include catastrophizing (predicting that the worst will happen in every circumstance); all or nothing thinking, also known as black and white thinking (believing that only a very limited set of circumstances could occur in any given situation and ignoring all of the possible range of circumstances); overgeneralization (thinking that because something happened in one circumstance that it will automatically happen in all other circumstances); and mind reading (believing that you know what other people are thinking of you even though you have no evidence).

At the heart of it, cognitive distortions involve an individual filtering information through an inaccurate lens. Thus, if you’re using inaccurate information to make a determination, then it’s very likely that your conclusions will be incorrect.

Obviously, I don’t have enough information from your letter to judge whether or not your self-assessments are accurate but it does seem that you are harsh when it comes to yourself and your abilities.

The way you think about yourself also determines how you feel about yourself. If you judge yourself harshly, then emotionally, you’re going to feel bad. That is a very unpleasant way to live.

At this point, it seems that you need more information. You need to know if you are accurate in your self-judgments. It is important to know the truth.

My advice is to consult a therapist who will objectively examine your beliefs and determine their accuracy. Once you have accurate information, then you can act accordingly. Without the truth, you risk making decisions that may not be in your best interest.

It’s also possible to learn new and better social skills. You might choose a therapist who specializes in working with individuals with autistic disorders. Social skills training, cognitive enhancement therapy (CET), and related therapies can assist in developing those important skills.

You also mentioned that you have a passion in life but that you are not sure how to turn your interest into a reality. Therapy can help with this. Research would also help immensely. Research is often a very labor-intensive effort. It takes time, major effort and patience, but it’s well worth your time. You’d be surprised at how much information is available for those willing to search for it. Good luck and please take care. Thanks for your question.

Dr. Kristina Randle

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Depressed & Lonely

To be honest I’m not the best at explaining so I’ll just tell you my main conflicts.
1. My whole life has been a social failure. In school I was always treated terrible for being awkward and a little different due to my autistic nature to the point where it felt like I was hated for absolutely no reason. Since then I feel like it’s taken a toll on me mentally and emotionally because all I ever wanted was some friends that actually cared about me but anytime it looked like I was close to something like that I was painfully let down one way or another and due to that I am incredibly shy, uncommunicative, and hopeless that I’ll ever actually gain the social life I’ve always wanted
2. In addition to having some true friends I’d also like to try dating and possibly find my future companion. The problem with that though is due to my terrible social skills and trauma from my social failures, I’m terrified to talk to girls.
3. In my life there is constantly forces being my control impeding me from being as productive as I’d like to be or preventing me from progressing to my goals in life and as a result I end up getting really depressed and feel restless and worthless.
4. I lack self-esteem. Whenever it seems like life is trying to hint me towards something that would improve life or bring me joy I always back away from that help as I’m afraid of the affects it could have on me or my life as a whole. Either that or I don’t have the willpower to try to improve myself or my life.
5.I feel like I’m always at the center of hostile drama between two people in my life and it emotionally exhausts me to say the least.
6. I have a passion in life that I’m more than committed towards making it a reality but with no support and the emptiness I feel I’m practically clueless as to how I turn this dream into my reality.

The way you think about yourself also determines how you feel about yourself. If you judge yourself harshly, then emotionally, you’re going to feel bad. That is a very unpleasant way to live.

At this point, it seems that you need more information. You need to know if you are accurate in your self-judgments. It is important to know the truth.

Dr. Kristina Randle

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Greta Thunberg: Stigmatized for Asperger’s

Whether you agree or disagree with her message, Greta Thunberg has suffered from the typical stigmatizing comments from those who disagree with her because of her Asperger’s syndrome diagnosis. This is the kind of ignorance most people have left behind in the last century.

But some critics, instead of focusing and replying to her message about the threats of climate change, chose to focus on the messenger, Thunberg herself. Calling her “mentally ill,” one critic even went so far as to suggest she was some sort of parentally-controlled pawn in a vast global conspiracy.

It shows a stunning amount of discrimination, stigma, simple lack of respect, and an inability to argue from the facts when someone brings in another person’s mental health status if that status has little to do with the topic at hand.

Asperger’s syndrome has been renamed as a mild form of an autism spectrum disorder in the latest Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5)(American Psychiatric Association, 2013). It is in a category of disorders called Neurodevelopmental Disorders, ones that typically begin and are diagnosed in childhood.

In reading many conservative critics opinions of Thunberg, many seemed to focus on the personal characteristics of Thunberg, rather than her message. And just to be clear, her message was a very simple one. She asked the leaders of the world and lawmakers to listen to the science and scientists who are in strong, general agreement about the impact of climate change. Very few critics actually addressed the subject on which she was speaking.

Instead, they went after Thunberg, a 16-year-old Swedish teenage girl who was passionate and articulate in her speech to the U.N. But you wouldn’t know it from some reactions to it.

Even the President of the United States, Donald Trump — who, you’d think, might show some restraint when responding to the speech by an energized and enthusiastic teenager — mocked Thunberg. “She seems like a very happy young girl looking forward to a bright and wonderful future. So nice to see!” Trump tweeted sarcastically after her speech to the U.N.

Conservative commentator Michael Knowles led the charge in the personal, ad hominem attack against a 16-year-old girl on a Fox News program:

“None of that matters because the climate hysteria movement is not about science. If it were about science it would be led by scientists rather than by politicians and a mentally ill Swedish child who is being exploited by her parents and by the international left.”

It’s as if Knowles listened to a completely different person talking to lawmakers and leaders this past week. She specifically said, “I don’t want you to listen to me. I want you to listen to the scientists… I want you to unite behind the science.” How much more clear can an advocate be?

Instead, Knowles and other conservatives piled on the “mental illness” and “poor parenting” bandwagon, attempting to derail Thunberg’s impassioned defense of the planet. People who gladly tell others that how they parent their own children is nobody else’s business felt the freedom to become the people they regularly lambast for giving out parenting advice.

Dave Rubin, a popular conservative podcaster, tweeted:

She is right about a few things.

1. She shouldn’t be up there.

2. People have stolen her dreams with empty words…just not the people she thinks.pic.twitter.com/uo86W3s7Mm

— Dave Rubin (@RubinReport) September 23, 2019

Ian Miles Cheong, the editor of something called Human Events, suggested Thunberg was just a “prop” (which is exactly how all teenagers like to be thought of, as children incapable of independent thought and nothing more than the pawn of someone else):

Am I a bad person for thinking children shouldn’t be used as political props like Greta Thunberg? pic.twitter.com/kGEErp35Jn

— Ian Miles Cheong (@stillgray) September 23, 2019

Attacking the Messenger, Not the Message

Stigma, prejudice, and discrimination against those with a mental or neurodevelopmental disorder are still commonplace, sadly. It is a clear indication that many people still hold very prejudiced and backwards views when it comes to

Vox noted that “Thunberg has been open about having Asperger’s syndrome, tweeting in August that “I have Asperger’s and that means I’m sometimes a bit different from the norm. And — given the right circumstances — being different is a superpower.”

Thunberg added that, “I’m not public about my diagnosis to ‘hide’ behind it, but because I know many ignorant people still see it as an ‘illness,’ or something negative.”

Andy Ngo, an “independent journalist” defended Knowles use of the language that he did, because she apparently does struggle with different disorders:

Knowles described Greta as “mentally ill” in an interview, citing her family’s autobiography. Everyone has rushed to condemn him. In the book, released last year, her parents detail Greta’s struggles w/depression & severe anxiety. She stopped eating, talking & going to school. https://t.co/zvDounfsrU

— Andy Ngo (@MrAndyNgo) September 24, 2019

But he completely — and purposefully — misses the bigger question: why are people talking about Thunberg’s mental health status? If she had a cancer diagnosis or diabetes, would people be trying to dismiss her comments based upon those diagnoses?

Of course not.

And that’s the point. By labeling her with these diagnoses, critics believe it’s a legitimate response to Thunberg’s argument. It is, of course, nothing of the sort. It is simply more stigma and prejudice being thrown at a girl in an attempt to silence her.

This is the worst kind of stigma, but I have no doubt it will not stop Thunberg’s impassioned defense of the planet and helping to educate others about the dangers of climate change. Every month we’re given more scientific evidence about how the world’s environment and climate is changing for the worse, how flooding is becoming commonplace, how bird and other species are in decline, and as the oceans warm, fish populations decline.

References

American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed.). Washington, DC: Author.

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Podcast: Benefits of a Video Library Documenting Mental Health Issues

Today Gabe speaks with the president and CEO of PsychHub.com, Marjorie Morrison. Psych Hub is a partner of PsychCentral.com and has more than 100 free animated videos on a variety of mental health, substance use, and suicide prevention topics.

Join us as Marjorie explains how Psych Hub got started, what types of videos they have, how to find credible information in the internet age, and how for some, animated videos can be the best choice for an information source.

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Guest information for ‘Video Library Documenting Mental Health’ Podcast Episode

Marjorie Morrison is the president and CEO of Psych Hub, the premier online platform for engaging videos on mental health, substance use, and suicide prevention. A visionary and pioneer in the mental health space, Morrison co-founded Psych Hub with Patrick J. Kennedy to connect people with best-in-class online certification trainings for providers and a free public video library for people seeking to learn more about some of our Nation’s most vexing mental health challenges.

Prior to Psych Hub, Morrison was the founder and CEO of PsychArmor Institute, a 501(c)3 non-profit organization. Under Morrison’s leadership, PsychArmor flourished and is now widely recognized as the trusted “Best-in-Class” resource regarding the understanding of and solutions to complex and unique military veteran issues

Morrison is a CA Licensed Marriage Family Therapist, a CA Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, a PPS-credentialed School Psychologist, and the author of The Inside Battle: Our Military Mental Health Crisis. As a subject matter expert, she has been featured by national media giants such as BBC, NBC, FOX, CBS, CNN, and NPR, along with being a contributing writer for multiple outlets.

About The Psych Central Podcast Host

Gabe Howard is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar disorder. He is the author of the popular book, Mental Illness is an Asshole and other Observations, available from Amazon; signed copies are also available directly from Gabe Howard. To learn more, please visit his website, gabehoward.com.

Computer Generated Transcript for ‘Video Library Documenting Mental Health’ Episode

Editor’s Note: Please be mindful that this transcript has been computer generated and therefore may contain inaccuracies and grammar errors. Thank you.

Announcer: Welcome to the Psych Central Podcast, where each episode features guest experts discussing psychology and mental health in everyday plain language. Here’s your host, Gabe Howard.

Gabe Howard: Hello, everyone, and welcome to this week’s episode of the Psych Central Podcast. Calling into the show today we have the CEO and president of Psych Hub, Marjorie Morrison. Psych Hub is a PsychCentral.com partner Web site and we are super excited to be working with them. Marjorie, welcome to the show.

Marjorie Morrison: Thank you, Gabe. Thanks so much for having me.

Gabe Howard: Oh, well, it’s, of course, always a pleasure to have any partner of PsychCentral.com on the show. And before the partnership with Psych Central, I wasn’t aware of your organization. Can you tell us what Psych Hub is? As well as the mission behind it?

Marjorie Morrison: Absolutely, and I’m hoping the reason why you hadn’t heard of us is because we’re like brand new and you were one of our first partners. So you were in early. Psych Hub is online education in the mental health, substance use, and suicide prevention space. So we are an online library of over 100 free short videos. We call them micro videos; they are usually about 2, 3, 4 minutes. They’re all animated and they’re all around subjects of all types of mental health issues, substance use and suicide prevention. About two-thirds of them are targeted for consumers. And the other third are for healthcare professionals, doctors, nurses, hospitals and clinics.

Gabe Howard: Nice.

Marjorie Morrison: There’s so much information out there and it can be so confusing. And people also experience mental health issues so differently. So depression to one person might be different than depression to someone else. Words really matter when you talk about mental health because you can be very exclusive if you use the wrong words. And yet not everybody experiences things the same way. So you have to be very careful about explaining that this may not be what you feel, but this is what I feel.

Gabe Howard: To sort of go back for a moment, can you tell us how this all sprang up? I mean, were you just sitting in a room one day and you thought, hey, what we need are mental health cartoons? Can you walk us through that process?

Marjorie Morrison: Patrick Kennedy has been a longtime friend of mine, and I was just sitting having lunch with him one day and talking to him, and I said wouldn’t it be so great if we could take a similar model and do it in the greater mental health, substance use, and suicide prevention space? And he was like, “Okay, that’s great, let’s do it.”

Gabe Howard: That’s incredible. And of course, my favorite part of the story is that a previous guest of the Psych Central Podcast and a current guest of the Psych Central Podcast are buddies in real life. That’s awesome. Patrick Kennedy is a great friend of the show.

Marjorie Morrison: So he became my co-founder and just really felt like there was a need for a place where people could get engaging information at a fairly basic educational — maybe high school — level. Nowadays, people consume information by watching videos quite a bit more than they would read things. You know, people will just not stop and actually go to a Psych Central with credible information and read from there. They’ll get information from all kinds of places. Oftentimes not credible. So I learned a lot about online education and the movement that what you can do and how you can scale really good quality information in a training or in a video, much more so than anything else. Because a lot of times when you read something, you can interpret it a lot of different ways. When you watch something, most people interpret it the same way. And the retention of what you have when you watch a video is so much higher. So it’s a really good medium to really kind of scale quality information. So that was where it started.

Gabe Howard: And this shouldn’t come as any surprise. I mean, even if we look at, like the history of Facebook, you know, Facebook started, all you could do was type in a status update. And now even Facebook allows you to not only upload videos, but also to go live. You can literally have a live video on Facebook. And the reason that I bring that up is not to plug Facebook because they don’t need our help, but because Facebook is really good at giving people what they want. And clearly what people want is video content. Did that go into your thinking or were you just like, hey, there’s just so many blogs, we have to do something different or we will be drowned in the space?

Marjorie Morrison: No, it was a much bigger quest. It was a knowing that people are not reading, you know, they’re gathering information on whether it’s social media, YouTube or whatever it is. And the whole space of mental health is very complex. You know, there’s just so many different symptoms or diagnoses and they’re very different. You know, when you think about we clump mental health, it would just be the same thing as clumping medical. So if you have a, you know, a heart issue, it’s very different than a broken foot. And I think we tend to “Oh, she has mental health issues.” You know, it’s like.

Gabe Howard: Right.

Marjorie Morrison: That’s why we have over 100 in. Our intent doesn’t – it’s not to have somebody watching, you know, 100 something videos. It’s to give people the information that they want when they need it and have it to be customized. So if it is something like I’m just using example, depression, watch a video. But this is what depression is, then there’ll be another video. These are medications for depression. These are evidence based treatments for depression, all done in first person. All of our videos are very positive about help work. We don’t ever have anybody who is sad and cowering in a corner and all of the things that make stigma worse. Right? Our characters are just average people using diversity of different colors, skin, different sizes, different accents in everyday life who experience everyday mental health conditions that are so prevalent.

Gabe Howard: That is incredible. Now, one of the things that you talk about and I love this, especially for, you know, the work that I do as a mental health advocate, and of course, PsychCentral.com believes so strongly that correct and credible and factual information is worth so much more than, you know, hearing what you want or the comforting lie. But this is tough, right? How do people know what’s credible and what’s not? It’s not just as simple as, oh, go to this website and not this one.

Marjorie Morrison: Right.

Gabe Howard: Some Web sites have a mixture of credible and not credible information. What would you say to somebody if they’re asking, how can we ensure that the information we’re finding online is credible?

Marjorie Morrison: It’s so true. And you know, and I think it’s going to continue to be a problem. It’s I think it’s going to get worse before it gets better because there’s just so much content out there. And people also want to promote themselves as subject matter experts. So they’re producing their own kind of content. It’s a great question. And I mean, there’s just so much bad information out there. So I think, you know, first and foremost, that all of us to get our information online. We really need to look at the site, look at is it a reputable company? Where are they getting their information from, you know? Do they have partners? Where are the partners coming from? What’s the criteria that they might have to vet information? I think that also there is an element of common sense people have to use. And I always say that first and foremost, because people want to believe what they want to believe, right? So I have a friend who has cancer. And he was telling me I got diagnosed with stage four cancer of a very slow growing cancer. And he was explaining to me that he truly believed that his cancer wasn’t going to grow. And he said, I just was like searching the Internet, searching the Internet. I finally found a site that said, even if it’s at stage 4, it so slow growing, you don’t have to do treatment. And he resisted treatment for a while. And actually, he’s doing well now because he got treatment. So it’s a good story. But the reason why I share this with you is that he kept digging to find what he wanted to find, you know? And I think that’s another scary thing, too, because if you keep looking, you’re going to find it. Right? So it’s just also so important that people are open minded about are you trying to find information to tell you what you want to hear or are you actually seeking knowledge and are you using a credible site?

Gabe Howard: I think what you’ve described is called answer shopping.

Marjorie Morrison: Yes.

Gabe Howard: And we’re all guilty of that in so many things. We do this in politics, we do this in religion. We do this in our friendships. If we want to be mad at our friend, we will find every single reason to be mad at them and ignore the part where we’ve known them for 25 years and they loved us when we were in high school and nerdy. You have to look at it with a critical eye and think to yourself, is this accurate? And can I find something that backs it up or does it only exist in this space?

Marjorie Morrison: That’s exactly what it is. And you know what? Obviously, we’re having this issue with our news, too. So in politics and whatever it is. So I think it’s we in mental health are a microcosm of the bigger problem, which is just information overload. I think it’s going to get worse before it gets better. There’s no way to really guarantee that this is quality information. So I know for us at Psych Hub, we work really, really hard to make sure that our videos are as accurate and as professional and with the most evidence-based content that’s clinically sound and trauma informed. And so we go through a painstaking process, a whole bunch of powers that be — we have them review them on an editing software before it goes live. And I’m so proud to say this. We have never yet had to take one video down or make any. Not a single edit. And we have conjured the thousands of views now. So now we’re going through it and I’m only plugging that in that that’s how important it is to us that we’re giving up quality information.

Gabe Howard: I like what you said there, though, that in that whole time you haven’t had to do it because you would do it.

Marjorie Morrison: Absolutely.

Gabe Howard: If something changed, if information was brought to light that was wrong, you would remove that. So admitting that you made a mistake or that something wasn’t accurate or even just acknowledging that research changes and removing and updating, that’s something to look for, right? People who are willing to say, yeah. Yeah. That this was incorrect and now this is what’s correct are actually more credible than people who have managed to go 25 years without ever making a mistake.

Marjorie Morrison: I mean, absolutely, and some of the stuff, you’re right, and sometimes you will say to me, well, what’s your favorite one? And. This is it. Literally we treat each one exactly the same because it could just be one video that gives off the wrong information and you can cause a lot of a lot of havoc for that.

Gabe Howard: We’ll hear from our sponsor and be right back.

Announcer: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.com. Secure, convenient, and affordable online counseling. Our counselors are licensed, accredited professionals. Anything you share is confidential. Schedule secure video or phone sessions, plus chat and text with your therapist whenever you feel it’s needed. A month of online therapy often costs less than a single traditional face-to-face session. Go to BetterHelp.com/PsychCentral and experience seven days of free therapy to see if online counseling is right for you. BetterHelp.com/PsychCentral.

Gabe Howard: And we’re back speaking with Marjorie Morrison, the CEO and president of PsychHub.com. I know that there’s a lot of challenges in being a mental health speaker or being a mental health podcaster or her being a mental health writer. And obviously, you’ve listed some of the challenges and even making little animated mental health videos. But aside from everything that we’ve already discussed, what are some big challenges in putting mental health information out there, especially in our current state, with a lot of misunderstanding?

Marjorie Morrison: I will tell you, depending on the day of the week you asked me that question, you’re going to get a different answer.

Gabe Howard: I love that, I love that.

Marjorie Morrison: I’m going to try to give you the sort of most… I think the biggest issue is that there are evidence-based interventions that are better to treat symptoms. And people just don’t understand that the average consumer doesn’t know. And I use myself as an example when I used to be in private practice. I could have someone come in with ADHD at 9 o’clock. I could have major depression at 10:00. I could have sexual trauma at 11:00. I could have complicated grief at 12:00. I could have insomnia at 1:00. People have, like we talked about already, so many different types of diagnoses or symptoms. And yet we go to a therapist who is a generalist. And it oftentimes doesn’t work for either party. The patient doesn’t really understand that there’s a specific intervention. I’m gonna use, for example, sleep issues, cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia is an effective treatment. Talking about what happened to them in fifth grade isn’t gonna help them sleep any better, but they might sit there for a year talking about it because that’s what intervention their therapist does. So I just think that is the biggest challenge that we face in mental health is this really educating both the consumer side of it and on the provider side of it.

Gabe Howard: It sort of sounds like what you’re saying is that when you have a hammer, everything looks like a nail. So you have a mental health issue and you don’t know where to go. You might get a different answer if you go to, say, a general practitioner versus a therapist versus a psychologist versus a psychiatrist. So even though you’re the same, you could potentially get four different takes on what’s going on. Because after all, there’s no definitive test for any mental health issue. We can’t take blood and say, aha, that that creates confusion. And then we add everything that we’ve already talked about, you know, answer shopping, fear, the stigma, discrimination, the stuff we put on ourselves. Well, I’m not crazy. I’m fine. And on and on and on and on and on. It really does sort of create this potential for mass confusion.

Marjorie Morrison: Yeah. You know what, you bring up a really good point about the different disciplines because I wasn’t even going there. But you’re absolutely right. The psychologists, a psychiatrist, a social worker, they’re all different. But even just as a therapist, a psychotherapist, you could use, you know, talk therapy or a theoretical type of family systems approach. And yet it might be that cognitive behavioral therapy for whatever that symptom is, is a better fit. The disciplines make it confusing, the treatment types make it confusing. And so I think that, you know, it’s at Psych Hub what we’re trying so hard to do is educate people. If you have whatever it is, it might be eating disorder, substance use, schizophrenia. There are different treatment types and to get educated about what they are. So you could start looking around for providers that know that intervention and that use it. That’s where we would feel like we were we were at a success.

Gabe Howard: And speaking about health care providers for a moment, what can health care providers do to help in the process to improve the mental health experience?

Marjorie Morrison: One I would say is getting educated in evidence-based practice. It’s very confusing to kind of know what’s out there and what’s the latest and greatest. They have it just as bad, too, with all this information out there, but also helping educate their patients or their clients, helping them know that, A, things are gonna get better. Expecting what the process is like. So we know one of the biggest challenges for patients is this not knowing what therapy is going to be like, the fear of the unknown. Right? So providers can help with that. I’d like to say that videos help with that, too. Now we are coming out with what we’re calling these kind of companion videos in January. So things that therapists can send to a patient to be able to educate their patient. This is what that therapy is going to be like. This is what we’re going to try to cover or cover around this session. I think that that’s good. And that also puts some of the responsibility of the treatment on the patient, which I think is also part of that process that works well.

Gabe Howard: I know that Psych Hub is a new organization, and I also know from interviewing experts all over the country that it’s fascinating because younger practitioners are like, oh, yeah, we love the Internet, we have sites that we like and that we send our patients to on the regular. And I hate to say older practitioners, but we’ll say practitioners with more experience say, no, no, no, no. I advise my clients not to get on the Internet in any way that the Internet is bad, bad. So I know that Psych Hub is a new organization, but have you found practitioners being receptive to utilizing your videos in their practices or is that a goal?

Marjorie Morrison: We are rolling out a whole phase two in January, February, and so we partnered with the major insurance companies. Right now what we have is all public facing and we have not come to the practitioner side. I would imagine that we will find, A, what you are talking about like the more seasoned ones, but also they’re not as much on line. So part of it is an age piece as well, because the 30 year olds and, you know, early 40 year olds are doing everything online and probably are scheduling all their appointments online and providing maybe some digital therapies in between sessions. And so really the whole practice is changing. And depending on the age demographic, your experience could be different too.

Gabe Howard: So my final question that I have for you is what other resources do you use that you would recommend to others? Because again, like you said and sort of as we talked about, it’s hard to find quality information. What can you recommend that you’re sort of vouching for?

Marjorie Morrison: So I get asked this question all the time. My number one answer. I know this is going to be a real shocker to you, it’s always Psych Central. So the first thing I always tell people is

Gabe Howard: Yeah. Yay!

Marjorie Morrison: You have to go to Psych Central. They have the best. They have the best content, the best stuff. So, I mean, I’m not just saying that because I’m on your podcast. It really is. I mean, I know we share a lot on our social, too, about Psych Central. But it’s so important people know that the quality of content of Psych Central is so good and the need of it is so important. We also really like PsyberGuide. I don’t know if you’re familiar with it, but it’s a great resource that helps rate different kind of mental health apps and tools and technologies. It’s really like a consumer guide for all the stuff that’s out there. It’s “cyber guide,” but it’s P S Y B E R. So that’s one of our favorites. And then we have like our our favorite more national based nonprofits that are close partners of ours, MHA and NAMI are ones that we work with, the Jed Foundation, you know, really on a regular basis that we would send people to or that people could look at. But that’s what I would say is there’s not a lot of really, really good, kinda credible stuff. But there are some great, great associations. The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention has great content on there. So a lot of times these larger nonprofits that are national, that have been around a while, are really, really credible.

Gabe Howard: Well, that is excellent. And of course, thank you so much for all you do over at PsychHub.com. And that’s how we find it. You don’t need any special software. You don’t need to download any special apps. You just go to PsychHub.com. And I know that you can click on individual, if you’re an individual; you can click on provider, if you’re a provider, and they’re all right there and they’re all 100 percent free. There’s not a catch in the world, correct?

Marjorie Morrison: That is correct.

Gabe Howard: Well, awesome. If you’re not heading over there right now, you’re missing out. Marjorie, thank you so much for being on the show.

Marjorie Morrison: Thank you so much for having me. I appreciate it. I appreciate all that you do.

Gabe Howard: Oh, you’re very, very welcome. And listen up, everybody, if you want to interact with the show on Facebook, if you want to suggest topics, comment on the show, or be the first to get updates, you can do so by joining our Facebook group just by going to PsychCentral.com/FBshow. And don’t forget to review our show on whatever podcast player you found us on. And do me a favor, tell a friend. I would take it as a personal favor and I’d owe you one if I ever saw you in real life. And remember, you can get one week of free, convenient, affordable, private online counseling anytime, anywhere, simply by visiting you BetterHelp.com/PsychCentral. We’ll see everyone next week.

Announcer: You’ve been listening to the Psych Central Podcast. Previous episodes can be found at PsychCentral.com/show or on your favorite podcast player. To learn more about our host, Gabe Howard, please visit his website at GabeHoward.com. PsychCentral.com is the internet’s oldest and largest independent mental health website run by mental health professionals. Overseen by Dr. John Grohol, PsychCentral.com offers trusted resources and quizzes to help answer your questions about mental health, personality, psychotherapy, and more. Please visit us today at PsychCentral.com. If you have feedback about the show, please email show@PsychCentral.com. Thank you for listening and please share widely.

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