Friday 31 March 2017

Hypersexuality in Bipolar Disorder

picThe need to be desired, it is a topic many women will avoid. They think it shows weakness to express the need to have a man find them attractive. I don’t. Maybe it was the many years of being overweight, but I love when I get hit on by a man. Being bipolar I admit that my need for a man to flirt with me takes on a life of its own. I love it! I crave the attention, and don’t feel as good about myself when it isn’t happening on a regular basis. Being told I am pretty, sexy, hot all makes me feel wanted and, after feeling like the ugly duckling for most of my life, I find nothing more thrilling.

Since I long for the feeling of feeling attractive I do certain things that make some women question me. I always have elaborate makeup on. I take a lot of time to do my makeup before leaving the house each day. It is something I am known for. I am often asked about the products I use, as well as the techniques I use to apply my makeup. I never feel unqualified to give the advice because I did have a cosmetology license, even though it has lapsed now. I also did makeup backstage for theatre even on traveling Broadway shows and for many community theatre shows, so I know my skills are there. I use it to my advantage to give myself a flashy look.

I also make sure to do my hair and have it styled nice as well as put on a fashionable outfit. Being known for my style and flare makes me proud to have bipolar because I know that the bipolar is part of why I have my creative style and flare. It gives my personality a complete persona, and I always enjoy when a gentleman can appreciate the time I put into looking nice.

Then on top of the makeup and the hair and the perfect outfit. I make sure I exercise and go to the gym. I know it seems like not a big deal but as I mentioned I was overweight most my life and now that I am not it is nice to continue to maintain my weight loss. I enjoy jogging and being fit. I like being able to wear sexy clothing that make me feel attractive and yes they are normally provocative and turn heads but that is the way I like it.

I know now that hypersexuality is a symptom of bipolar disorder and I know that my need to be desired probably stems from that. I don’t always like that I care so deeply what others think of me and sometimes it is the one thing that will send me deep into a depression. I may over think why no one has flirted with me recently or why my husband of almost 20 years hasn’t tried to have sex with me lately, however a good night out dancing is the one thing when I am feeling confident again that can knock that depression out of me too. It is always amazing to me what a night of feeling like a sexy woman can do for my self-esteem. For me it is a rush like nothing else, better than any drug that I could even imagine is out there.

I know bipolar has some symptoms that are a pain in the bottom and many of them I don’t care for. This symptom however is not one that I am looking to correct anytime soon. I don’t mind needing the reassurance from others that I am attractive. Maybe, that’s because I am finally okay with who I am. It won’t happen every day that a man finds me attractive and I am okay with that. I am happily married and I would never change that. I love my husband but I do love to flirt, hyper-sexuality must be controlled but can be by staying on your wellness bipolar wellness plan. I am lucky to have an understanding husband who understands when it happens it isn’t something he isn’t doing but something that is because of my disorder. Bipolar, it’s a beast!



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I Sometimes Get Confused if Divorce Is Right

From the U.S.: My husband always needed advise about everything including our relationship from people that he did not know personally but via third person and would talk over the phone. His family and elder brother lived in India. He always showed them that he was not happy but would be different when he was with me. He never worked during our less than a year marriage due to his immigrant status. He was verbally abusive and tried to control everything.

We had an argument one morning. That night he talked to his brother and got angry. He slapped me, I warned that I’ll call the cops. He walked out of house. Later, he came with the cops, tried to get me arrested but they saw my bruises and arrested him.

His brother booked his flight without giving me any option; he just left me within 2 days. He blocked my number and only contacted me when he wanted to. He went to my hometown, met my school friends, family friends, falsely accused us and made up stories.

When he ran out of people overseas, he started contacting family friends in the US about how miserable he was. He and his family would not talk to me or my parents if we tried to contact directly. He wanted me and my parents to go to India to beg that we wanted him to come back.

I booked our flights but my condition was I didn’t want his brother’s presence when we all meet. He promised but, his brother came along who was so disrespectful that my dad had a stroke. He passed away two days later.

My husband never showed up at the hospital or his funeral. I came back to the US, withdrew his sponsorship, filed for divorce that was granted. When he found out, he contested, came back to the US.
I don’t know his whereabouts and have no contact with him.

I go back and forth about if I should give him a chance. I feel I still love him and then I realize I cannot trust him. I feel I should call him then I remember my dying dad and his pain, and that he never showed up, was never there and tried to defame me even after my dad passed away.
I feel like a mess sometimes and do not know what I am supposed to do.

A: Please accept my condolences for the loss of your father.

I’m sure this whole situation has caused you a great deal of stress but, from what you wrote, I think you did make the right decision.

Since he wasn’t working, it is possible your husband felt he had to prove to himself and other people that he was still the “man of the house”. You wanted and needed a respectful, loving partner. Instead of working on your marriage, he made himself a “victim” in the eyes of his family and became increasingly controlling and emotionally and physically abusive toward you.

Love without trust never works. Your ex-husband hasn’t changed. He hasn’t contacted you to apologize, to ask for forgiveness or to talk about ways that maybe the two of you could start again. For you to “give him another chance” is like one hand clapping.

Give yourself the love and respect you never got from your husband. Be glad you discovered his true nature before you had children or became dependent on him. You and your family did not deserve the way he treated you. No one deserves treatment like that.

If you can’t move on, please make an appointment with a therapist to get some support and practical help.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie



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Revealed: The Type of Music That Makes You Feel Most Powerful

If you want to get pumped up before a big event, what type of music should you choose?

Click here for your free sample of Dr Jeremy Dean's latest ebook The Anxiety Plan: 42 Strategies For Worry, Phobias, OCD and Panic

• Dr Dean is also the author of Spark: 17 Steps That Will Boost Your Motivation For Anything.



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How to Be Empathetic Towards Someone with an Eating Disorder

Doctor measuring obese man waist body fat. Obesity and weight loWatching a loved one fight a disease is heartbreaking. The best thing that you can do is to be there for them. But, it can be difficult to be empathetic when you do not see what they see. To help you care for them, here are some of the best ways to stay understanding.

  • Inform yourself. There are so many forms of eating disorders and it can become overwhelming. Researching the disease can help you feel connected and recognize what may have caused the feelings to start. The first step to helping a loved one is understanding what they are going through.
  • Don’t place blame. Don’t place blame on yourself, a significant other, or the individual. This will only lead to more hurt and separation of the family in this time. This is easier to avoid if you constantly remind yourself that an eating disorder is a disease and not a choice.
  • Ask them how they are feeling. Instead of approaching them with direct questions about their disorder, ask them a general question to get them talking. Eating disorders are usually caused by an underlying issue. Try to find that issue so that it can be resolved.
  • Talk to someone. Your feelings are important too so don’t forget to express them. Whether it is a friend or a therapist, it is good to talk through what is on your mind so that you are able to handle the stress of being someone’s support system.
  • Make them feel safe and supported. To help someone with an eating disorder, you should create a judgment free discussion. Build a trusting relationship so that they feel safe coming to you with their problems.

On the other hand avoid being their only savior in a bad situation. They will probably text or call you when they feel uncomfortable, but if you are not there one time to answer, they need to have another option. Teach them to deal with things themselves without immediate gratification and then facilitate a conversation afterwards.

  • Care for yourself. This seems obvious, but it is easy to forget. In order to help someone, you need to be healthy and happy. Make sure that all of your needs are being met because it is easy to get caught up with helping someone else. But this could lead to you losing your job, neglecting other relationships, or developing your own mental health issues without even noticing that you are changing.
  • Don’t allow lies or cover ups. People with this disease tend to have a habit of lying in order to accomplish what they want. Do not let them manipulate you into covering for them. Also, if you feel like they are lying to you, call them out.
  • Don’t praise their appearance. Essentially, make the conversation about something other than their body. You might seem like you are giving them a compliment, but if you say they look great and they just starved themselves for a week, you are reinforcing bad behavior. On the flip side, do not tell them they look frail or too skinny, they have enough negativity in their own mind.
  • Leave suggestions to professionals. Dieting suggestions or any other suggestion should be left to the professionals. Although you may feel like you know nutrition or psychology, you are their friend, not their doctor. Stay on that side of the fence so that the individual can have both. You also do not want to give them the wrong information for their particular body and end up making something worse.

Don’t expect treatment to solve all problems

Eating disorders are complex. It is not feasible to go into a program for a few months and come out completely healthy. This will be an ongoing disease that this person will fight for their whole life. Just hope that treatment resonates well enough so that the disorder doesn’t continue to take over their life.

The most important thing to remember when trying to help someone with an eating disorder is that you can be there for them, but do not let it take over your life. It is best to make sure that they have a therapist and other friends or family to talk to so that the pressure is not all on you. When you are the only one that they feel comfortable with, it can lead to an unhealthy relationship where you will hold resentment.



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Magnets Can Improve Your Memory

Magnets could eventually be used to compensate for memory problems caused by dementia.

Click here for your free sample of Dr Jeremy Dean's latest ebook The Anxiety Plan: 42 Strategies For Worry, Phobias, OCD and Panic

• Dr Dean is also the author of Spark: 17 Steps That Will Boost Your Motivation For Anything.



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Giving the underserved the care they deserve

Nobody likes strong smells coming from other human beings. It's just that social convention: you are nice, if you smell nice, and you are a monster  - likeShakespeare's Caliban - if you smell bad. ​Caliban, often depicted as a Golumn-like creature, is one of the first cases of fish odor syndrome depicted in the literature. No amount of soap and water would help him to wash the smell away, as his body is constantly producing a pungent small molecule trimethylamine.  Caliban [...]...

Guo Y, Hwang LD, Li J, Eades J, Yu CW, Mansfield C, Burdick-Will A, Chang X, Chen Y, Duke FF.... (2017) Genetic analysis of impaired trimethylamine metabolism using whole exome sequencing. BMC medical genetics, 18(1), 11. PMID: 28196478  

Callewaert C, Lambert J, & Van de Wiele T. (2016) Towards a bacterial treatment for armpit malodour. Experimental dermatology. PMID: 27892611  




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Project Semicolon Founder Amy Bleuel Dies at 31

Amy BleuelAmy Bleuel wanted to honor her father’s passing, after he died due to suicide. She settled on a potent symbol to help express the hope when a life is saved — the semicolon. It is a symbol of the perseverance that comes from grappling with mental illness.

Sadly, Bleuel lost her own battle with depression last Thursday, March 23. She was 31.

In 2015, Bleuel told The Mighty in an interview, “In literature, an author uses a semicolon to not end a sentence but to continue on. We see it as you are the author and your life is the sentence. You’re choosing to keep going.”

The hope shared by Project Semicolon’s founder is captured by the organization’s reminder, “Your story isn’t over.” The semicolon represents the continuation of your life after struggling with thoughts of suicide and death, which are a common component of clinical depression.

Bleuel hailed from Green Bay, Wisconsin and started Semicolon Project in 2013, as a faith-based nonprofit organization. Its mission is to inspire and encourage people who live with mental health concerns, fostering hope and empowerment. The project was a strong testament to the significant impact a single person with vision and hope can have on others.

Bleuel’s own battle with depression began at an early age, when she was 8 years old, and included grappling with anxiety and self-harm. In addition to depression, she also lived through sexual assault and abuse growing up, contributing to a life-long battle with clinical depression.

As she wrote on the Project Semicolon website:

“Despite the wounds of a dark past I was able to rise from the ashes, proving that the best is yet to come. When my life was filled with the pain of rejection, bullying, suicide, self-injury, addiction, abuse and even rape, I kept on fighting. I didn’t have a lot of people in my corner, but the ones I did have kept me going. In my 20 years of personally struggling with mental health I experienced many stigmas associated with it. Through the pain came inspiration and a deeper love for others. God wants us to love one another despite the label we wear. I do pray my story inspires others. Please remember there is hope for a better tomorrow.”

Project Semicolon Founder, Amy Bleuel

As a part of the project’s goals to help raise awareness of mental health concerns, people draw or tattoo semicolons on their bodies as a reminder to themselves (and a sign to others) that their story isn’t yet over. Since its inception, thousands of people across the world have donned a semicolon in support of the project.
You can learn more about and donate to Project Semicolon here.

From her obituary:

Amy graduated from Northeast Wisconsin Technical College in December 2014 where she earned a degree in graphic design and a certificate in printing. Amy founded Project Semicolon. Her work following graduation was centered on raising awareness of mental illness and suicide prevention. She gave presentations on behalf of the Project to groups throughout the country.

Amy loved to travel. She and her husband especially enjoyed photography and photographing their many adventures together. She was an active member of Spring Lake Church in Green Bay.

Continue reading: Amy Elizabeth Bleuel’s Life Legacy

Leave your remembrances and condolences: Amy Bleuel on Legacy.com

Bleuel is one of those shining stars in life that reminds you that there is hope — even in our darkest hours. While her own candle has sadly ended, she lit a thousand candles of hope for millions who suffer from depression and suicidal thoughts.

May she rest in peace. Our thoughts and prayers are with her family and all those who mourn the loss of Amy.

 

Feeling suicidal?

If you’re suicidal, we recommend contacting the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline toll-free at 800-273-8255. You can also try one of these free crisis chat services:

Crisis Chat

Crisis Text Line (on your smartphone)

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline



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Service Review: WorldEssays.com – Custom Writing Service with Down to Earth Prices and High Quality Standards

buy college essays onlineThere are a number of factors that may influence psychology students and researchers to seek professional assistance when writing their academic papers. Common reasons include a lack of following factors, not so easy to attain: writing experience or familiarity with the subject matter, confidence in their writing ability, time to craft the paper to their usual standards or to get the paper started. Individuals in need of writing assistance are now able to buy college papers and essays online. Today, we will evaluate WorldEssays.com and determine if psychology students around the world should rely on them.

Do they Provide High Quality Writing Services?

Yes. High quality is arguably the most important issue for persons who purchase college essays online. However it should be noted that the quality of a paper or essay is dependent on a variety of factors such as writing style and structure, use of authoritative sources, clear expression of ideas, and successful completion of the assignment’s specific requirements.

A major advantage of buying university papers online from WorldEssays.com is the expertise of their writers in specific subject areas. For example, a psychology student may need a paper written on “The Effects of Dementia on Social and Sexual Relationships.” In this scenario, the professional writer chosen for this assignment would be a person with advanced training in psychology. This ensures that the writer is able to thoroughly understand the requirements of the assignment, find authoritative sources in the field, accurately process the research data, and craft the paper to meet all requirements.

An unexpected bonus of this service is their high attention to detail, especially when it comes to making in-text citations and using references. They are able to use all the common reference styles such as APA, MLA, and Chicago, which is often a major headache for students who are new to research. They also provide properly formatted bibliography pages at no added cost.

WorldEssays.com provides online academic assistance at high school, undergraduate, Master’s degree, and PhD levels. Their expertise covers a wide range of subject areas including the sciences, social sciences, business, and arts. They also offer a variety of online writing services for essays, research papers, speeches, book reviews, coursework, and dissertations. Each piece of writing is original, plagiarism-free, confidential, and crafted to the specific needs of each client.

Are Their Online Writing Services Reliable?

Yes. The writers operate on strict deadlines to ensure students and researchers are able to receive, review, and submit their papers on time. With the company based in Hong Kong and support offices in Eastern Europe, WorldEssays.com is able to provide reliable services and support for people in the United States, Europe, Australia, Canada, and many countries around the world.

Is it Legal or Ethical to Buy College Papers Online?

Yes. The online writing services offered by WorldEssays.com are similar to the academic assistance that may be offered by a personal tutor. Clients who buy college essays online may use the writing as a template for their own work, a readily available reference source, or a means of understanding the material better. Of course, the online writing agency does recommend that you consult the educational policies of your school or institution in order to determine the best way to utilize the service.

Are the Services They Provide Affordable?

Yes. The cost of each writing assignment will vary according to length, subject matter, academic level, and your recommended deadline. This ensures clients are able to work with experts in their relative fields and are not overcharged for services they may not need.

How Do They Respond if Things Go Wrong?

The customer service at WorldEssays.com is excellent. This is a major issue all students and researchers should consider when selecting an online writing agency. For college essays and papers to be written properly and on time, a lot of factors must be on point. It only takes a delay in one area for the entire project to be thrown off schedule. While this situation rarely occurs, it is not impossible.

WorldEssays.com provides 24/7 online customer support. This means a highly trained member of staff is always available to help you. The company also provides direct communication with your personal writer so that you may quickly address any concerns that may pop up during the research and writing process. Their money back guarantee ensures you get the high quality service you deserve.

Having evaluated their company, it is fair to say WorldEssays.com provides excellent, affordable services for individuals who require academic assistance. While the system is not 100% perfect, the vast majority of their customers are very happy with the quality and promptness of their work, and the company has taken commendable steps to minimize any adverse issues that may occur.

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Managing Bipolar Disorder: Q&A with Stephen M. Strakowski, MD

Managing Bipolar Disorder - Psychiatric EvaluationTCPR: Dr. Strakowski, it’s often difficult to be certain of a bipolar disorder diagnosis based on an initial evaluation. As clinicians, we’re always looking for better screening questions to quickly hone in on whether the patient has had genuine manic episodes. How do you start your interviews?

Dr. Strakowski: I generally start with two questions. First, “Has there been any period of time where you had a lot of energy to the point where you really didn’t even need to sleep more than a few hours a night?” I think that one is characteristic enough of mania that it at least gets you started. Second, “Have you had periods of either euphoria or irritability that have lasted more than a few hours?” In addition, I usually inquire about family history: “Is there anyone in the family who has been treated for bipolar disorder or hospitalized for recurring odd behavior?” If those questions come back positive, then I go through a somewhat structured interview of mania, including the DSM-5 criteria.

TCPR: Sounds like a good start.

Dr. Strakowski: That’s an important thing to realize—it is only a start. I often emphasize to clinicians that diagnosis isn’t a thing you do at the first visit and then quit. Some psychiatrists feel the need to nail down a diagnosis after a single session, which is often unrealistic, especially with bipolar disorder.

TCPR: Can you give us some other examples of phrasing questions? We commonly ask about things such as euphoria or irritability, but our patients may not really know what we mean by these descriptions in a clinical sense.

Dr. Strakowski: For the euphoria, what I say—and this is usually in the context of someone who has come in for recurrent depression—“Has there been a time where you’ve had the opposite of this kind of down period where you’ve felt really up and high or too good in such a way that people commented on it or said they thought you were acting very differently?” For a patient you may not know very well, the tricky part is determining whether it’s someone who’s depressed all the time and finally got healthy vs. someone who became manic. So again, I put the question in context of what other people have noticed such as, “When you felt better, did people say, ‘You look like you’re feeling pretty well’ vs. ‘Wow, you’re acting sort of different or strange’?” For irritability I’ll say, “Do you find that you’ve had periods where you were snapping at friends and strangers, not just your family?” Everybody argues or gets irritable with their family, so that is not very helpful for a diagnosis. Often in these first appointments, there’s a spouse or a parent who will start nodding their head, and then you can jump in and say, “Well, it looks like your wife thinks you do,” and you can go on from there.

TCPR: Aside from core diagnostic information, what other pieces of information do you like to get during the initial interview that might end up helping to manage the illness over the long term?

Dr. Strakowski: I always ask about drug and alcohol use because that’s the number one confound. Not only is that going to mimic symptoms, but it’s the one that’s going to worsen outcome. Family history for me is very important, particularly in bipolar disorder since it is highly inheritable (Strakowski S. Bipolar Disorder. New York, NY: Oxford University Press; 2014). If there is no evidence of psychiatric illness in the family, then that really questions the diagnosis in my mind.

TCPR: If you ascertain that somebody has an alcohol or drug abuse history, what do you do with that information? How does it affect your treatment?

Dr. Strakowski: I often try to determine the timing of the two disorders—did the substance use come before the mood disorder or vice versa? I will almost never wait to try to get someone sober before I treat the mood disorder; I always try to treat them concurrently. But it’s an important part of that initial conversation: “As long as you’re smoking marijuana daily, you are immediately impairing the ability of our treatment to be effective.”

TCPR: We’ve heard about the importance of a regularized daily rhythm for patients with bipolar disorder. When do you ask about that?

Dr. Strakowski: That discussion often comes during the second visit, and becomes part of the treatment response discussion. I tell people that there is reasonable evidence that maintaining a regular sleep, exercise, and activity pattern is important. There’s some evidence that patients with bipolar disorder don’t manage these things naturally without help, and so it’s part of the recovery process. I usually introduce it fairly early as part of the treatment approach rather than as a diagnostic element per se. When I talk with patients about treatment, I really position them to think about it like managing any kind of chronic major medical illness. It’s not going to be as simple as just taking a pill. They have to understand that it’s really a programmatic treatment to manage a condition that can be complicated, and rhythmicity management is part of that.



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Too Scared to Leave My Home

I began feeling depressed in 2005. But the worst thing in my life was getting panic attacks. Wherever I had one I stopped going there. Went to see the psychiatrist and gave me anti-depressant and Xanax which helped. But I became so scared of having panic attacks I have shut myself in my home and can’t go anywhere. Is this still due to depression, panic attacks or something else. Thanks.

A. It’s impossible to provide a diagnosis over the Internet. It may be a combination of depression and anxiety that has led to this problem. People who become homebound as a result of severe anxiety are sometimes diagnosed with agoraphobia. Agoraphobia is an anxiety disorder that is highly treatable with medication and talk therapy.

When it comes to severe anxiety and phobias, avoidance is your worst enemy. Each time you avoid leaving your home because of fear, it strengthens your phobia. If you still have a connection to your psychiatrist, ask for their help. Perhaps they can prescribe a medication that could ease your fears long enough for you to leave your home for therapy. In the meantime, try joining an online support group for individuals with severe anxiety. Psych Central has many support groups that may be of interest to you.

In order to get better, there will come a time when you have to leave your home. Most therapists do not provide home-based care. The first time you leave your home, it may be difficult. But it is important that you know that high states of anxiety are very short-lived. Getting better will require tolerating unpleasant feelings for a short time but they will naturally pass and relief will follow. Many people have overcome anxiety disorders and you can too. I wish you well. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle



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Best of Our Blogs: March 31, 2017

My inbox and podcast are filled with beauty, and health and wellness tips. People who take care of their physical health are cool. I want to drink smoothies and eat acai bowls with them.

But don’t you wish we could talk about emotional health in the same way?

Wouldn’t it be nice if discussing things like medication, therapy and other forms of emotional self-care were treated with the same acceptance and ease with which we talk about our physical well-being?

While it may never be sexy to talk about our emotional wellness, we can work on talking about it without fear and judgment.

Let’s start by reading, sharing and talking about our top posts this week!

Toxic Cocktails: Stonewalling and Gaslighting
(Knotted) – It’s the two strategies your parents used to control you as a child and now it’s affecting you. Are you guilty of using stonewalling and gaslighting in your own relationships?

Growing Up With A Depressed Parent
(Narcissism Meets Normalcy) – This is how untreated depression hurts your kids.

5 Relationship Myths that Seem Reasonable at First
(NLP Discoveries) – Are you falling for these common relationship misconceptions? It could be hurting your relationship.

Depression vs. Avoidance Personality Disorder
(Tales of Manic Depression) – Avoiding social situations describe both depression and avoidance personality disorder. How do you know which one you’re suffering from? Read this.

Trying To Overcome Trauma? You Might Be Going About It The Wrong Way
(Leveraging Adversity) – Before you try talk therapy, there’s something you need to do to heal from a traumatic experience.



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Preverbal foundations of human fairness

I want to point to two articles in the second issue of Nature Human Behavior. One is a review by McAuliffe et al.:
New behavioural and neuroscientific evidence on the development of fairness behaviours demonstrates that the signatures of human fairness can be traced into childhood. Children make sacrifices for fairness (1) when they have less than others, (2) when others have been unfair and (3) when they have more than others. The latter two responses mark a critical departure from what is observed in other species because they enable fairness to be upheld even when doing so goes against self-interest. This new work can be fruitfully combined with insights from cognitive neuroscience to understand the mechanisms of developmental change.
And the second is interesting work on preverbal infants from Kanakogi et al.:
Protective interventions by a third party on the behalf of others are generally admired, and as such are associated with our notions of morality, justice and heroism. Indeed, stories involving such third-party interventions have pervaded popular culture throughout recorded human history, in myths, books and movies. The current developmental picture is that we begin to engage in this type of intervention by preschool age. For instance, 3-year-old children intervene in harmful interactions to protect victims from bullies, and furthermore, not only punish wrongdoers but also give priority to helping the victim. It remains unknown, however, when we begin to affirm such interventions performed by others. Here we reveal these developmental origins in 6- and 10-month old infants (N = 132). After watching aggressive interactions involving a third-party agent who either interfered or did not, 6-month-old infants preferred the former. Subsequent experiments confirmed the psychological processes underlying such choices: 6-month-olds regarded the interfering agent to be protecting the victim from the aggressor, but only older infants affirmed such an intervention after considering the intentions of the interfering agent. These findings shed light upon the developmental trajectory of perceiving, understanding and performing protective third-party interventions, suggesting that our admiration for and emphasis upon such acts — so prevalent in thousands of stories across human cultures — is rooted within the preverbal infant’s mind.


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Coeliac disease, autism and more

"Compared with the general population, children with celiac disease had a 1.4-fold greater risk of future psychiatric disorders. Childhood celiac disease was identified as a risk factor for mood disorders, anxiety disorders, eating disorders, behavioral disorders, ADHD [attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder], ASD [autism spectrum disorder], and intellectual disability."So said the study findings reported by Agnieszka Butwicka and colleagues [1] who, yet again, relied on one of those oh so important Scandinavian nationwide [research] registries to look at potential extra-intestinal comorbidity associated with a diagnosis of coeliac (celiac) disease. This research group have been pretty active in 'mining' the Swedish population databases in relation to various aspects potentially linked to labels like autism (see here and see here for examples). Importantly, at least one of the authors has also talked about how any connection specifically between coeliac disease (CD) and autism is likely to be rather complicated (see here).OK, back one step. Coeliac disease (CD) is the premier autoimmune condition - that's autoimmune condition not allergy - where dietary gluten is the [mostly modifiable] baddie. There is a growing realisation in the peer-reviewed science community that aside from the gastrointestinal (GI) manifestations of CD, it looks like extra-intestinal 'effects' are not uncommon too (see here for example) including those affecting early years development (see here). Of the myriad of other diagnoses/labels that have been mentioned alongside CD down the years, autism or ASD has cropped up more than once; leading some to suggest that there may be a connection between the two diagnoses and onward, the need for additional screening (see here). I might add that the gluten connection to CD also overlaps with 'some' research hinting that dietary gluten might have 'effects' for some on the autism spectrum too (see here).The current Butwicka results represent something quite important. No, they do not infer that everyone diagnosed with autism or ADHD or mood disorder or anxiety disorder has CD but rather that these labels are not protective against the development of CD. Indeed, something else important is mentioned by the authors: "In contrast, siblings of celiac disease probands were at no increased risk of any of the investigated psychiatric disorders." This implies that the relationship, in general terms, seems to be quite specific to the biology / genetics and clinical course of CD and those other developmental/behavioural/psychiatric labels.Then a tantalising question: what happens to these extra-intestinal labels/conditions when CD is managed/treated via a gluten-free diet? Well, we'll have to wait and see for the science to catch-up but I daresay for some, treating CD might be an important step to managing other labels too (see here)...Music to close: and double-denim never really went out of fashion y'know...----------[1] Butwicka A. et al. Celiac Disease Is Associated with Childhood Psychiatric Disorders: A Population-Based Study. J Pediatr. 2017 Mar 7. pii: S0022-3476(17)30153-1.----------Butwicka A, Lichtenstein P, Frisén L, Almqvist C, Larsson H, & Ludvigsson JF (2017). Celiac Disease Is Associated with Childhood Psychiatric Disorders: A Population-Based Study. The Journal of pediatrics PMID: 28283256...

Butwicka A, Lichtenstein P, Frisén L, Almqvist C, Larsson H, & Ludvigsson JF. (2017) Celiac Disease Is Associated with Childhood Psychiatric Disorders: A Population-Based Study. The Journal of pediatrics. PMID: 28283256  




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The Levels of Deceptive People

There is a moment of realization when working with a person who seems nice on the surface that something is not right. It usually comes in a flash and without awareness, it retreats just as quickly. It is important to listen to those warning signals. Deceptive people often mask their deviousness, anger, manipulation, and controlling nature behind a kind façade. But even the best of deceptions are unable to be hidden all of the time.

The problem is that most people ignore those signals through minimization (it wasn’t that bad), rationalization (there must be good reason), or justification (they must be having a bad day). The instinctive reaction is too often overlooked and this is how bad things happen to good people. But not all deceptions are the same. It is important to know the difference between an advanced con and a small ruse so both can be better avoided.

There are levels of deception:

  • Advanced – usually done by psychopaths and sociopaths. These deceptions are rather advanced in nature as they have practiced successfully on many others prior to the current deception. They are also highly skilled in reading body language and are quick to add their own minimization, rationalization, and justification in order to put their victim at ease.
    • This group of people has little to no conscious, zero empathy, and no problem taking advantage of friends, family, co-workers, or strangers. For them, the end (whatever it is they want: money, power, or control) always justifies the means (they look for the easiest and quickest way to achieve their goals) regardless of who might be hurt physically, mentally, or emotionally. They use a variety of abusive techniques so smoothly that a person on the receiving end is unaware of harm until it is too late to retreat.
    • The key here is if it seems like someone is “inside your head”, they just might be. This is not a group of people to try to out think, it is best to out run, as in run away. The first indication of such a person is the easiest time to retreat. Listen to the instincts that say to run regardless of the sweet talk coming from this person.
  • Above average – usually done by persons with a personality disorders. One of the characteristics of a person with a personality disorder (such as narcissistic, histrionic, borderline, paranoid, or obsessive-compulsive) is a lack of an accurate perception of reality.
    • People with personality disorders are constantly attempting to draw others into their distorted reality. They will also utilize a variety of abusive techniques but the motivation is slightly different. At the heart of each personality disorder is a deep seeded fear (such as abandonment, rejection, or failure), insecurity, and/or early childhood trauma. They will do literally anything to keep that fear, insecurity, or trauma from being realized by others. So they create their own version of reality as an effort to hide and recruit others to join them. They in turn use this group of converts as their own justification for continuing the deception.
    • The key to awareness usually comes though double checking with an outsider. Maintaining any relationship with a person in this category requires iron clad boundaries and external support.
  • Slightly above average – usually done by person with personality traits. Personality traits are not the same as personality disorders. Think of a trait as a general characterization of a person. A perfect example is passive-aggressive behavior. This can be an overall personality trait and/or the manner in which a person expresses anger.
    • This group is generally unaware that their behavior is perceived as deceptive. For example, they are given an assignment they do no like. So instead of being honest up front, they do the assignment part way, drag their feet, and leave some type of ticking time bomb behind them. It is only later that the person requesting the assignment becomes aware of destruction. When confronted, this passive-aggressive person will avoid logical arguments (because they know they are wrong) and focus on emotional appeals which are exhausting and not solution focused.
    • Since it is not until the bomb has exploded that a person becomes aware of a problem, the key to getting out of the mess is to abandon rehashing, ignore the emotion, and only discuss solutions. Eventually they will cave.
  • Average – usually done by defiant people. Deception at this level is much more obvious than the cases presented above as there are far more warning indicators. The naturally rebellious nature of this person lends itself to trying to get away with as much as possible without consequence.
    • A perfect example is a defiant teenager who tries to outsmart their parents, escape consequences, and go against the natural flow of their society group. Their deceptions tend to be more transparent because there is no joy in getting away with something without the recognition. This group wants to be acknowledged for their ruse so they tend to tell on themselves early on in the game.
    • The key to avoiding this in the future is to allow the natural consequences to happen in the present. Frequently parents are tempted to rescue their child which only allows more deception to continue in the future.

The early warning signs of a deceptive person are the best indicator of potential harm. Whether the level is average or advanced, it is best to quickly dodge the person.

Christine Hammond is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and a National Certified Couselor who lives in Orlando and is the award-winning author of The Exhausted Woman’s Handbook.



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Thursday 30 March 2017

The Politics of Talking Politics at Work

man-couple-people-womanPolitics is already a sensitive subject at the office. The touchiness has been amplified recently. Yet whether it’s in the office, during happy hour or even on social media, politics will likely come up.

Although it’s easier said than done, plenty of experts maintain you should never discuss politics at work under any circumstances. After all, it can be divisive. You’re talking about people’s world views, how they believe the country should be run and in many cases the best ways for people to live their lives.

Many of my clients have anxiety not only about issues, policies, and the future of America itself, but also about whether they should entertain political discussions at work. And if so, how?

Here’s what to do and what not to do when it comes to discussing political issues with colleagues.

DO ask for permission.

It’s an easy step to forget: always ask for permission before launching into a touchy topic. Everyone has different boundaries around discussing sensitive issues. Don’t make the mistake of getting caught up in rigid thinking and assume your co-workers have the same broaching the topic of politics as you do.

To set the groundwork for a healthy, productive dialogue, you might say, “I’m not trying to change your mind. I see this issue very differently and I’d like to understand. Would it be okay to spend a few minutes talking through our perspectives?”

DO know your facts (and admit when you don’t).

In the heat of the moment, you might feel an urge to spit out some compelling sound bites you saw online while scanning the headlines without relevant information to back it up.  But blustering through an ill-informed argument will only do damage to future conversations. It certainly won’t win you points in the current one.

There’s nothing wrong with admitting you aren’t up to speed on a particular issue. Try saying, “Wow, interesting! I’d like to do more research on this today after work. Can we pick this conversation up tomorrow?”

DO know your triggers — and watch for them.

Politics can be personal for many people, maybe even for you. You might have strong feelings about a woman’s right to choose. Perhaps your family was affected by immigration policies firsthand.

Whether it’s around certain issues or the candidates themselves, be mindful about where your own triggers are. This type of self-awareness can help you regulate your emotions rather than lose control and do something unprofessional that you’ll regret, like yelling or saying something nasty to a colleague.

It’s also easier than you might think to use a discussion of politics to project other problems you have with a colleague. Don’t let a discussion of U.S. political news slip into a discussion of office politics instead.

If you do find yourself feeling frustrated, don’t place ownership of your frustrations onto your co-workers by saying, for instance, “You’re making me frustrated.” If you feel like you need to express that idea, reword it to take more responsibility when you say something like, “I feel frustrated.” This takes away the accusatory tone and opens it up for your colleague to empathize.

DO frame it as a learning opportunity.

If you decide to enter into a political conversation with a colleague, think of it as a chance to learn from one another, not change each other’s views. Being interested in someone else’s thought process can be a great reason to engage in a political discussion.

Try saying something along the lines of, “I know what I think about healthcare, but I’m curious why you feel so differently. Would you be open to sharing your position with me?” Just make sure that in the back of your mind you’re not secretly hoping you’ll convert your co-worker.

DON’T stand for disrespect.

It’s completely possible for people to have opposing viewpoints without stooping to derogatory comments.

When emotions are running high, a disagreement over political philosophies can deteriorate into personalized attacks. Before that happens, the best option is to agree to disagree — and then get back to work.

If you can sense a discussion going south, try saying, “The tone of this conversation is not appropriate for work. It’s not heading in a good direction, so let’s agree to drop it” After that, either excuse yourself to another conversation or leave the room.

You can also redirect the conversation by saying something like, “I’m honestly overwhelmed by all this election coverage. Let’s talk about something else.”

DON’T assume you’re off the clock when you’re on social media.

Social media is a powerful tool to keep in touch and maintain connections, and it’s become an important aspect of today’s working relationships.

Though you’re (hopefully) not at work when you’re using social media, make sure you do a quick check-in with yourself before you post or comment on anything political. Picture your coworkers seeing it. Imagine it possibly serving as a catalyst to an in-person office discussion. Are you okay with that? If so, post away.

In the end, agree to disagree if need be. 

It can be very tricky to navigate this politics at work. But when handled correctly, these discussions with your colleagues can be enlightening — no matter which side of the political aisle you’re on.

 

 

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Paranoid if My Mother Cheating

Hi. Last year, I became totally paranoid about my mother, if she’s cheating on my dad. That all started with a intimate happy new year wish text of a friend of my dad. I was suffering from paranoid for 3 months though I didn’t have any, any clues expect them texting and my mother deleting his texts. (which just happened 3 times) Then I talked to my mother and found out how silly I were. I was so ashamed of my paranoia.
It ended there but a few days ago me and my mom were on a trip and she bought a box of a not special cookie. She didn’t mention for who she bought that and when I told here these cookies are not delicious, she told me they’re fine to bring to work for colleagues. (I also remember earlier she has told me that she has to buy these, and I’m not sure if she mentioned that sb asked her to buy them for him/her or not) When packing, she also kept the store’s bag. and that was when I remembered she didn’t want her colleagues to know she was on a trip. The paranoia started. It couldn’t be for the colleagues. All of the terrible feelings from last year came rushing to my head. Does she have a secret friend? She didn’t buy anything worthy (but she did buy some expensive gifts for my father) but the idea of my mom buying a gift for a man had made me desperate since we’re back.
I also suffer from anxiety and in the last year and 2 years ago I’ve became really paranoid, about being pregnant without penetration, about my boyfriend cheating and about my mom cheating, and all were false.
I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I’m right about being paranoid and should do something about my mom, or I’m sick. Please help me.

A: The fact that these feelings are spread out over time and different people indicates that it may be time for an evaluation to figure out what’s going on. If these were isolated incidents without a theme we might look at each one individually. But it sounds as if you’ve become aware that in spite of the evidence you are still having these feelings. I’ll recommend two things. The first is in an evaluation by an outside observer. You don’t want to keep looking for validation from your close connections. This means talking to a professional therapist about these concerns. The find help tab at the top of the page can help you find someone in your area. The second is to pick up a book called The Resilience Factor. This book can help you identify ways to challenge your own thoughts, which may be helpful.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral



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How Parents Turn Their Children Into Narcissists

Creating narcissists: the parental behaviour that convinces children they are better than other people.

Click here for your free sample of Dr Jeremy Dean's latest ebook The Anxiety Plan: 42 Strategies For Worry, Phobias, OCD and Panic

• Dr Dean is also the author of Spark: 17 Steps That Will Boost Your Motivation For Anything.



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The Linguistic Trick That Helps You Cope With Strong Emotions

It is a way of expressing universal, shared experience and creating some emotional distance.

Click here for your free sample of Dr Jeremy Dean's latest ebook The Anxiety Plan: 42 Strategies For Worry, Phobias, OCD and Panic

• Dr Dean is also the author of Spark: 17 Steps That Will Boost Your Motivation For Anything.



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How to Move Through Anxiety with Greater Ease: A Personal Account

pexels-photo-24534Experiencing anxiety is unpleasant. Unless perhaps you are on line for an amusement park ride, most of us find anxiety challenging to face. Recently I had the opportunity to face some anxiety head on, right before and during some planned surgery that a close family member underwent. Here is a personal experience of how mindfulness helped me through that anxious moment, and what I learned.  

What Mindfulness is NOT, and what it CAN offer:

While the explosion of research and interest in mindfulness has brought so much benefit to so many, I see as a psychologist that there is now a risk of it being perhaps glamorized and misunderstood as the “solution” or “cure” to every problem. One of the most common misperceptions that I hear from people who are new to mindfulness is when they say “it didn’t work.”

Mindfulness doesn’t take away all of our stress, pain, anxiety and worry and bring us to a place of bliss, but instead it offers us a different way of relating to our experience, by being able to observe what we are feeling and thinking with greater awareness, non-judgment, acceptance and kindness. While the goal of mindfulness is not to take away our discomfort, it can offer us a way to move through uncomfortable experiences with more compassion and ease.

Sitting with My Anxiety

In this situation, a member of my family had to have general anesthesia for a day surgery. While thankfully this was not a life threatening condition, there were risks nonetheless and some uncertainty that raised fear and anxiety for me as the one who was waiting at the hospital during the surgery.

Throughout that seemingly long hour and a half that I was waiting for the doctor to give me feedback from the surgery I had ample opportunity to be with my fear. Some of this I did formally as I meditated (closed my eyes and followed my breath in and out as I observed my thoughts, feelings, and body sensations), and some informally as I just waited and noticed my own reactions. I tried to simply observe whatever was arising without judging what was there (e.g., without saying “this is stupid — why am I feeling this way), and tried to redirect my attention back, again and again, to the present moment.

Here is what I noticed and learned:

  • By observing what I was experiencing moment-to-moment, it created a little bit of distance or space between me and my thoughts, and me and my bodily reactions. It didn’t stop the thoughts from occurring, or the heart from pounding fast, but I was more aware of what was happening so I didn’t get quite as pulled in and swept away.
  • My breath was a helpful anchor for me. It offered me a place to return, over and over, even as my heart rate increased, my mind started to worry, and I felt a multitude of emotions. It was my steady companion during what felt like an endless stretch of time, and it helped to offer me some sense of stability.
  • When I made the choice to open to what I was feeling, rather than push it away, it took some additional struggle out of the experience. I was being carried in a stream of icy cold water, but at least I wasn’t also fighting to swim upstream. When I was able to observe my bodily reactions (heart beating fast, increased sweating, face flushed, etc.) with some curiosity and without the need to control it, this made it easier to be with whatever was happening, rather than exerting additional energy trying to fight it, judge it, or stop it.
  • Following my feelings and sensations was a bit like riding the waves in the ocean. There were times where my feelings were more intense, or where my heart beat was particularly fast and seemingly loud, but there were other times when I felt moments of calm. There was an ebb and flow that made my experience more bearable.
  • I was very aware of the tendency of my mind to want to pull me away from the present and into the past (pulling up old feelings related to earlier memories and associations of hospitals and loss) and into the future (creating all kinds of stories about what could be and what if’s). When this happened it was very helpful for me to remind myself that neither of these streams of thought were the reality of what was happening right now. That helped to keep me more grounded, and it helped my anxiety from escalating. When my mind wanted to imagine all kinds of “what if “scenarios, I had to bring it back to the now, the way people liken mindfulness to training a puppy. When I started going into the past I was able to recognize it and put that past experience in a completely separate container that was NOT today/the present moment.
  • By observing what I was experiencing, rather than being completely pulled away by it, I was able to have a bit of space to bring some compassion to myself. I was able to tell myself “this is hard” and have that be O.K.  I was also able to feel greater compassion for the people around me.  I saw all of the other people in this waiting room waiting for news about their loved ones, and then I thought of all of the family members on other floors of the hospital, and in hospitals all over the world.  By focusing on sending them feelings of care and compassion, it helped bring me out of my own personal experience, and helped to open my heart and feel a greater sense of connection.

Practicing mindfulness did not make my anxiety go away, but it helped me to be with my fears, and with myself, the way that I might sit with a good friend. This feeling of being there for myself, fully present, helped to make the experience more bearable. It was an anchor in the storm.

I hope by sharing my own experience with mindfulness it may help others to find an anchor the next time they experience anxiety.



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An Empowered Walk Through Addiction

The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.

This quote by Joseph Campbell is one I often use with patients. I present the quote, sit silent for a while and allow them to contemplate the words. The quote opens inner doors most of my patients have never entertained and we begin to explore what the words mean. At some point, a proposition is made as to whether they want to use their journey of addiction as this privilege of a lifetime.

There appears to be a bright side of addiction:  an opportunity. It’s an opportunity in which many of my clients will say that they cannot and do not regret their walk through addiction because of who they become.

Language and perspective can make all the difference in overcoming addiction. And the good news is, we get to choose. Language and perception is a choice, as long as we have more than one option. Specializing in therapeutic mindfulness, working primarily with opiate addiction, my aim is to shift my clients’ perspective and language in the direction of empowerment.

Addiction can be perceived as a disempowering struggle or a personal challenge. When we perceive addiction from a lens of stress, difficulty and powerlessness, we can easily see a life that is overwhelming, and confusing about who we are and who we want to be – creating feelings of failure and helplessness.

Or, we can allow addiction to be a personal challenge as we stand on a cliff, looking out over the open sea to the distance mountains, with the mountains our destination. As we stand, we consider the journey that lies before us; one of opportunity, potential for a new future and the chance to expand the horizon of our life.

Another Perspective

Addiction in this perspective becomes the journey of looking at our lives as a chance to master ourselves. It is what Joseph Campbell speaks of; to become the hero of our own lives. We start to call upon our inner warrior to help us along the way. Yes, we face fear and obstacles, but when we show up to those with courage and strength, instead of failure and helplessness, the entire game changes.

For most of my clients, in a very real way, their addiction was never a failure. It was simply a lack of education and awareness in some form: about life, the world and themselves. Think of it more as trying to win a battle without any skills, weapons and amulets – of course you will lose. And now, it’s simply time to learn.

Some of my male patients like to think of it as “boot camp,” entering their recovery with the same knowing and inner attitudes and mindset. They know it won’t be easy and it will be a test of their strengths and weaknesses. For them, it becomes a journey of courage and learning how to rise after the fall.

Overcoming addiction starts the inner travel of coming to know who you are, what you are capable of and questioning what you really want from life. It’s a journey into the depths of our own humanness. Addiction or not, I think we all get the opportunity, in our own way, when life provides us a gate to discover ourselves. To enter the gate is a privilege.

When new patients arrive to my office, I silently say, “Welcome to the greatest journey of your life.” There is nothing sick, diseased or wrong with this journey; it is an opportunity- and I become the travel agent helping them arrive to their destination.

To arrive successfully to their destination lies in the ability to prepare, know their internal and external resources, learn to use them, become skillful and travel with empowered people who inspire, and call forth all that is right with them. I sometimes use the words of my mindfulness teacher Jon Kabat-Zinn, “If you are breathing, there is more right with you than there is wrong with you.”

Empowerment

I invite clients to walk with empowerment–to warrior up–looking at the terrain of their lives. I ask if they want to enter the arena. And if they choose to do so, we begin the practice of using their inner swords of courage and strength.

Not everyone who enters my office wants to walk through their addiction in this way. There is no right or wrong; there are many ways to cross the open sea. It simply becomes a choice of how you want to travel and with whom you want to travel.

As with any travel, we start by assessing challenges and opportunities. Clients don’t have to know exactly what is on the other side of that open sea and they won’t because they haven’t been there yet. But they do need some idea and inner vision about what they hope is over there. This inner vision helps guide the journey and helps the traveler take advantage of opportunities that arrive along the way.

They will need to see impending challenges,and prepare as much as possible. Their external equipment becomes the people, places, and things to support this journey to new territory and a new life.  Inner equipment starts by asking: “What can you do to create more opportunities for inner strength, self-respect and self-exploration?”

Traveling in an empowered way gives individuals the chance to know the part of themselves that is capable of overcoming obstacles that inherently have no power or meaning other than what they give it. Giving power to these obstacles leads to disempowerment by the sheer notion that we’ve  given our power away.

One of the greatest gifts I see from clients who travel this way is how they walk in the world with greater wisdom, courage, and a depth of human understanding. I am more inspired by my clients than most of the general public I meet every day. I’m not saying we all need to become addicted to have greater wisdom. Wisdom is an equal opportunity employer, graciously presenting gates of privilege in different ways, but the gifts are awarded to those who enter.

If you can choose to see overcoming addiction as a personal challenge, use empowered language, an inspired perception, you will get the chance to see the entire journey of addiction as the privilege of a lifetime.

Laura C Meyer, MS, is a mindfulness instructor at the University of Virginia School of Medicine, founder of Live More Studio, and specializes in evidence-based mindfulness interventions (MBI’s) for mental and behavioral health. As a former clinical therapist and addiction counselor, she is currently focused on therapeutic mindfulness as treatment for opiate addiction. 

 

 

 

 



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My 11 Tips on How to Make the Most of Each Day

“Carpe diem! Rejoice while you are alive; enjoy the day; live life to the fullest; make the most of what you have. It is later than you think.” – Horace

Numeral 11, Eleven, Isolated On White, Natural Limestone, 3D IllThere was a time in my life when every day seemed ominous, disappointment or bad news was expected and dreaded, joy and happiness felt impossible to attain. Rather than make the most of each day, I made poor use of the time. In short, I lived in the shadows, avoiding others except to find solace in the company of those who sought, like me, to eradicate the pain, forget failures, and numb the mind.

How did that all change? It didn’t come easy and it wasn’t fast, yet I did gradually move away from a self-destructive and unproductive way of living and looking at life to the point where I am today: loving life and living each moment to the fullest.

Note that this does not mean self-indulgence to the extreme or the use of alcohol, drugs or other mind-altering substances. What it does include is a blueprint or pattern that I’ve adopted that allows me to see the good and hopeful in everything, to discern the positive hidden in negatives, and the ability to make informed choices after thoughtful deliberation.

Here are my 10 tips on how to make the most of each day.

  1. Be present in what you do. 
    While the recommendation sounds obvious, fully accepting this approach takes practice. What does it mean to be present? Being present requires paying attention to the moment, without allowing distractions to interfere. It’s being mindful in everything you do. For example, when I wash dishes, I am present. I feel the suds of the dish lotion bubble up and caress my hands. Instead of a distasteful task, it’s more involving and satisfying. When I must make a tough decision, instead of shying away from it, imagining all the negative outcomes, I immerse myself in the process, examine my options and arrive at a conclusion based on the evidence. I do this with full recognition and embrace of my actions in the present.
  2. Pay attention to what you eat. 
    Making the most of each day demands sufficient fuel to get started. This requires eating right, getting enough nutrition in food and beverage choices. Just as a car won’t run without a source of power, the body can’t work efficiently when deprived of its fuel source. In addition, while you’re eating, be mindful of the process. Note all the senses involved: savor the taste, smell, touch, sight and sound of eating. Not only will you be more energized, you’ll also be more satisfied.
  3. Get some daily exercise. 
    You don’t need to run to the gym every day, although if that’s part of your healthy routine, do it. Getting exercise daily is important because it’s good for your body and mind, helps you ready yourself for the next task or project, frames the day with positive energy. The endorphins released during vigorous exercise, such as a brisk walk, climbing the stairs, working out, swimming or playing a sport chase away feelings of anxiety, sadness, stress. What better way to add one healthier element to your day?
  4. Make progress toward your goals
    Everyone has some things they want to accomplish. Whether it’s a short-term project you want to finish or a long-term goal to obtain a degree, it’s important to make incremental progress each day. This helps keep you motivated over long stretches and spurs you to completion if it’s more pressing. Knowing that you’ve gotten some work done on goals is both satisfying and productive. This proactive approach also serves to reinforce the point that you can accomplish what you set out to do.
  5. Look for the lesson in mistakes
    No one is perfect, nor should perfection be a goal. Everyone does, however, make mistakes. Most of us make many of them. In my case, I tended to make mistakes more often than necessary. Maybe one reason was that I failed to take away the lesson each one contained. By learning to look for the lesson and taking heed of it, you’ll be less likely to see your actions as failures and more likely to view them as opportunities to grow.
  6. Forgive. 
    Harboring a grudge against a family member, co-worker, neighbor, a merchant or manufacturer, friend or someone you casually know doesn’t bode well for your mental health and overall well-being. In fact, it does long-term damage to your psyche. Find it in your heart to forgive, not just those you feel are responsible, but also yourself. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you condone the behavior, however. It does allow that negativity to be released, allowing you to move forward with your life.
  7. Be generous to others. 
    How does giving make you feel? Hold onto that good feeling, for it’s a key aspect of making the most out of life. Not only does the recipient benefit, so do you. Generosity doesn’t need to be repaid to work its magic. Consider the look of gratitude, the words of thanks as payment enough. Whether cash, donation in kind, helping someone who needs it or just lending support, your generosity to others will boost your self-esteem and add satisfaction to your day.
  8. Do what you love. 
    Love to paint, jog, read, go to movies, dance, ski, spend time with friends? Carve out time each day to do what you love. This time is just for you, to help you relax and unwind, to be happy for the sake of happiness, a little gift you give yourself. By spending time doing what you love you also restore balance and harmony in an otherwise hectic schedule. You come back refreshed and ready to again tackle your to-do list.
  9. Tend to your spirituality. 
    Another key aspect of making the most of each day is tending to your spirituality. Whether you find that involves meditation, prayer, yoga, walking in the woods or something else, nurture your spirit. It’s what makes you a whole person, adding that uniquely human aspect that contributes to the harmony and balance of mind, body and spirit.
  10. Keep a clean, clutter-free space. 
    I intensely dislike clutter, dirty dishes, soiled laundry, a grimy stove, weeds in the yard, paint peeling and other items requiring maintenance left undone. I’m not a perfectionist and don’t claim to have all the answers. Nor am I a clean freak. I do, however, find comfort in keeping a clean and clutter-free space. Besides, those no-longer needed items can serve a useful and much-appreciated purpose when donated to a local charity.
  11. Sleep well. 
    The human body needs sleep to function optimally. Just laying your head on a pillow isn’t enough to guarantee restful sleep. Take the proactive steps of keeping the bedroom cool, making sure there are no distracting blue lights from electronics, that the room is sufficiently dark, no intrusive noises from TV or radio, turn off the cellphone, mute the telephone, and adjust your comfortable pillow. Make your sleeping environment welcoming and then settle in for a good night’s sleep.

To the above I would add the following: Get help if you need it. Psychotherapy helped me sort out things when I was unable to do so on my own. Counseling helped me realize my strengths and gave me the insight to effectively work on my weaknesses. I found purpose and self-worth in the process and learned to overcome stress.

Whatever steps you choose to make the most of each day, look forward to the opportunity to learn and grow and live life to the fullest.



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The Science of Making Work Fun

How to make work funWant your people to enjoy coming to work? Dr. Paul Zak shows you how to get there with neurochemistry.

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I Know Something Is Wrong with Me

From Canada: I know something is wrong with me but I’m not sure what it is or what its from. I react terribly to all situations (start crying, lie, run away..), and i feel sad and anxious all the time.

I am currently in a pretty good relationship. Sometimes my boyfriend gets mad and i end up with small scratches and bruises (no broken bones or any real injuries – it’s not “abusive”) sometimes in the past when injuries were visible – on my face or neck – coworkers and friends asked what happened and if i was okay. I always made up a funny story because i didn’t want people to overreact but secretly i was kind of happy they asked because it felt like someone cared about me.

Lately, no one asks if I’m okay anymore and it makes me feel so isolated, like if i ever wanted someone to talk to i would have no one. But the biggest problem is i worry they all think negatively of me. I also self harm, and have cuts all up my arm (I always wear long sleeves and don’t think anyone has noticed), and i have burns and all kinds of other scars from when i was very young.

I am so terrified people think i’m crazy or a liar or that i do all of this to myself for attention. The worst part is that i actually sometimes like attention. I just don’t know. I don’t actually care about anything other than what people think of me.

Obviously there are more details to all of this but i don’t know what to include because i have no idea what is relevant or why i ruin everything or why i am so sad and anxious all the time.

Everything in my life is great so i have no idea why i feel like everything is bad, and i was hoping someone might be able to help me figure things out? Thanks in advance.

A: Everything in your life is not great. Your boyfriend is abusive. You also abuse yourself. You deserve far better but you don’t know how to get it so you are rationalizing that your life and your relationship are okay.

Although I suspect that you have a history of trauma and may be depressed, I can’t offer a diagnosis on the basis of a letter. What I can do is validate that you deserve to be taken seriously — especially by yourself. You need the support, encouragement and guidance of a caring therapist. Please make an appointment. A therapist will help you understand yourself and will work with you to relieve your pain. To get started, take your letter and this response with you and share it with the therapist.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie



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PODCAST: Teen Creates Peer Support Network for Teens, Run by Teens

In this episode of the Psych Central Show, hosts Gabe and Vincent conclude a 3-part series about the Palo Alto suicides and some of the things that came about after and, at least partially, as a result of them. Returning this episode is Sammy Kotmel, joined by Nadia Ghaffari, founder of TeenzTalk a teen-run peer support website with users all over the world. Listen as she shares how and why this site was created and hear about its success stories.

Hands artwork by Kaan Tarhan.

Sammy Kotmel

Sammy Kotmel

Listen as Our Hosts Learn About the ASPIRE Program for Youth with Mental Illness

“If someone is struggling – if a teen is hurting – the first thing they’ll do is bring it up with a friend or someone their own age. ” ~Nadia Ghaffari

 

 

Nadia Ghaffari

Nadia Ghaffari

About The Psych Central Show Podcast

The Psych Central Show is an interesting, in-depth weekly podcast that looks into all things mental health and psychology. Hosted by Gabe Howard and featuring Vincent M. Wales.

 

 

The Psych Central Show Podcast iTunes
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Gabe Howard is a professional speaker, award-winning writer, and mental health advocate who lives with bipolar 1 and anxiety disorders. Diagnosed in 2003, he has made it his mission to put a human face on what it means to live with mental illness.

Gabe writes the Don’t Call Me Crazy Blog for PsychCentral.com as well as is an associate editor. He also writes and Video Blogs for Bipolar Magazine Online. He’s been a keynote speaker for NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness), MHA (Mental Health America), OSU (Ohio State University), along with many other venues. To work with Gabe please contact him via his website at www.GabeHoward.com or e-mail Gabe@GabeHoward.com.

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Vincent M. Wales is the author of several award-winning speculative fiction novels and the creator of costumed hero Dynamistress. He lives with persistent depressive disorder and is a trained suicide prevention crisis counselor with additional counseling background. A Pennsylvania native, he obtained his BA in English writing from Penn State. While a resident of Utah, he founded the Freethought Society of Northern Utah. He now lives in Sacramento, California. Visit his websites at http://ift.tt/2fH3c3L and www.dynamistress.com.

 

Previous Episodes can also be found at http://ift.tt/2fZYPRi.

Subscribe to The Psych Central Show on iTunes and Google Play.



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The best exercise for aging muscles

I want to pass on the message from this Gretchen Reynolds article, that points to work by Robinson et al.. Their experiments were...
.... on the cells of 72 healthy but sedentary men and women who were 30 or younger or older than 64. After baseline measures were established for their aerobic fitness, their blood-sugar levels and the gene activity and mitochondrial health in their muscle cells, the volunteers were randomly assigned to a particular exercise regimen.
Some of them did vigorous weight training several times a week; some did brief interval training three times a week on stationary bicycles (pedaling hard for four minutes, resting for three and then repeating that sequence three more times); some rode stationary bikes at a moderate pace for 30 minutes a few times a week and lifted weights lightly on other days. A fourth group, the control, did not exercise.
After 12 weeks, the lab tests were repeated. In general, everyone experienced improvements in fitness and an ability to regulate blood sugar.
There were some unsurprising differences: The gains in muscle mass and strength were greater for those who exercised only with weights, while interval training had the strongest influence on endurance.
But more unexpected results were found in the biopsied muscle cells. Among the younger subjects who went through interval training, the activity levels had changed in 274 genes, compared with 170 genes for those who exercised more moderately and 74 for the weight lifters. Among the older cohort, almost 400 genes were working differently now, compared with 33 for the weight lifters and only 19 for the moderate exercisers.
Many of these affected genes, especially in the cells of the interval trainers, are believed to influence the ability of mitochondria to produce energy for muscle cells; the subjects who did the interval workouts showed increases in the number and health of their mitochondria — an impact that was particularly pronounced among the older cyclists.
It seems as if the decline in the cellular health of muscles associated with aging was “corrected” with exercise, especially if it was intense...


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[Objective] exposure to flame retardants and social behaviours

Although a few details of the study reported by Shannon Lipscomb and colleagues [1] (open-access) interested me, I was particularly taken by their use of "a silicone passive wristband sampler [worn] around his/her wrist or ankle" to "assess the child’s exposure to flame retardants" as part of their investigation "to determine if flame retardant exposure was associated with measurable differences in social behaviors among children ages 3–5 years."I've covered the topic of potential adverse effects associated with exposure to flame retardants such as brominated diphenyl ethers (BDE) before on this blog (see here and see here for examples). Such compounds are listed as POPs (persistent organic pollutants) because of their ability to endure in the environment, accumulate in the body and potentially [adversely] affect various biological systems. In other words, these are compounds that might well have served an important purpose at one time - flame retardants - but are now realised to have quite a risk profile attached to them. Sounds familiar doesn't it?Anyhow, Lipscomb et al relied on other research [2] suggesting that various compounds/chemicals can be sequestered from silicone wristbands - those plastic things that many people wear for various causes - with the right equipment and under the right circumstances. To any analytical chemist, this is probably scientific music to their ears. They "extracted and analyzed for 41 different flame retardant compounds using gas chromatography mass spectrophotometry" and focused on 11 compounds "PBDE-47, PBDE-99, PBDE-153, PBDE-154, PBDE-49, PBDE28 + 33, tris(1,3-dichloro-2-propyl) phosphate], TPP [e.g. triphenylphosphate], TCPP [e.g tris(1-chloro-2-propyl) phosphate], and TCEP [e.g. tris(2-chloroethyl) phosphate" that were quite readily present in 60% or more of wristbands. For some of the compounds the authors generated a 'sum of' score; for example: "ƩPBDEs is the total amount of PBDE-47, PBDE-99, PBDE-153, PBDE-154, PBDE-49, and PBDE28." Social behaviours by the way, were scored by teachers in the preschool setting of participants using the Social Skills Improvement System - Rating Scales.Results: 92 children were initially recruited onto the study but only 77 children returned their wristbands intact (i.e. some of them 'went through the laundry'). Further: "a final sample size of 69 children with complete data... were included in the final analyses." Then: "Bivariate analysis revealed modest correlations between flame retardant exposure and some of the social behavior subscales." What this suggests is that there may be some evidence that such compounds (including organophosphate-based flame retardants (OPFRs)) might impact on aspects of social skills development but there are constraints based on the sample size used and the reliance on one primary measure of social skills for examples.As per the previous sentence, I'm not totally convinced by this data but am still really interested in the use of wristband samplers described by Lipscomb and colleagues. I can see how this kind of objective measure of exposure could really add another dimension to lots of different areas of research on environmental exposures in relation to various labels. Take for example the quite complicated area of research talking about maternal air pollution exposure and offspring autism risk (see here). Instead of just relying on postcode (zip code) in relation to mapping (estimating) pollution exposure, one could potentially adapt the chemical assay to screen for particulate matter for example, as collected on those wristbands. Certainly an easier way than lugging around a portable air monitor I would have thought. No doubt there are also other uses for such simple solutions...Music: Europe - The Final Countdown. 80s rock hairstyles at their best and perhaps an apt song given what happened here in Blighty yesterday...----------[1] Lipscomb ST. et al. Cross-sectional study of social behaviors in preschool children and exposure to flame retardants. Environmental Health 2017; 16: 23.[2] O'Connell SG. et al. Silicone Wristbands as Personal Passive Samplers. Environ. Sci. Technol. 2014; 48: 3327–3335.----------Lipscomb ST, McClelland MM, MacDonald M, Cardenas A, Anderson KA, & Kile ML (2017). Cross-sectional study of social behaviors in preschool children and exposure to flame retardants. Environmental health : a global access science source, 16 (1) PMID: 28274271...

Lipscomb ST, McClelland MM, MacDonald M, Cardenas A, Anderson KA, & Kile ML. (2017) Cross-sectional study of social behaviors in preschool children and exposure to flame retardants. Environmental health : a global access science source, 16(1), 23. PMID: 28274271  




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