For my entire life I have had to deal with anxiety, and because of this I’ve always had a hard time making friends and opening up to people. Things that have happened in my past does not help this. For about a year now I have gotten very close to my now best friend. I go to her house a lot and spend the night often. Lately we have been staying up late, and have been talking about our emotions and things that are bothering us. I don’t know how to talk about how I feel or how to put my feelings into words. So when we talk it is mostly her talking and me listening. I want to be able to rant to her or to just be able to tell her whats wrong with me when I’m upset. The thing is I never know how to put it into words or how to explain it in the slightest. When I get face to face with people my mind just kind of goes blank. Would you have any advice for me? Thank you for taking the time to read this :)
A. You are welcome. It is my pleasure to read and answer your question.
There’s really no right or wrong way to speak about these issues. The best advice I can give you is to be honest and sincere. Honesty is important for having a good relationship. You might first try talking to your friend about how difficult it is for you to share your feelings. That might be a good start.
Another idea is to write her a letter about your difficulties with sharing your feelings. Writing is more contemplative than speaking. It affords you the opportunity to think through what you want to say before you say it. It could help you to clarify your own feelings. It could be a good exercise for you and it could improve your relationship with your friend.
Relatedly, you might want to start writing a daily journal. Many people believe that journaling is very powerful. It allows you to organize your thoughts, detached from the busyness of day-to-day life, clarify your feelings, increase your memory, identify patterns of behavior and thinking, and so much more. It’s something to consider. I hope this helps. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle
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