From a teen in the U.S.: I am 15 years old from the USA and I have an issue with talking to myself and imagining/creating different scenarios or stories of other people and sometimes myself.
I’ve looked on possibly every website and I know it’s common and isn’t neccessairly a bad thing at all to talk to myself, but my case is different I feel. My scenarios and imaginations in my head are 9 times out of 10 often times very violent ( as in killing people, myself, hurting others in gory or harsh ways) and make me feel heavy emotions to the point where i sometimes get panic attacks from it.
Just for some background info on myself I am diagnosed with Depression and Anxiety and currently take medicine for it. I have very prominent anger issues and am known to get real pissed and angry really quick and instead of blowing up im usually calm, depending on the situation, other times in very firm but violent if that makes any sense. I did have previous suicide attempts before and was diagnosed in the past for a binge eating disorder… but i am passed that binge disorder now.
I am otherwise , internally, a very violent person, but i DO NOT act on this rarely ever but i do have anger issues amongst other things sooo i guess you can imagine. I laugh and smile at very innapropriate times like during sad times or even during scary movies I laugh rather then being scared. I’ve lost many friends this way because i am seen as insensitive and inconsiderate although it is NEVER my intention to act this way.
In my imaginations i find myself talking in my head first then out of nowhere(sometimes forcefully) i start to speak out loud and as mentioned previously i can get strong emotions from my own thoughts.
Many things have happened to me in my life so i am well aware that it may just be a coping mechanism to get back at people… but it seems very unnatural and it kinda scares me. Not to mention, due to traumatic events such as domestic violence, bullying, harrasing, molestation, and ecetra i am a really forgetful person.
I forget things that have happened the day before it’s so bad.
I just really need some affirmations and confirmation if i should seek help.. thank you.
I’m very glad you wrote.
Sometimes when a person asks a question, they already have the answer. When you ask if you should seek help, it means that you know you really should. You’ve already done the research. You’ve already tried medication. You’ve done what you can reasonably expect yourself to do on your own. If you could figure it out, you would have already done so.
You have had significant trauma in your life. You are right that people who have had traumatic experiences often develop coping mechanisms that saved them at the time but that later get in their way. It is common for people who have been terribly hurt to respond with thoughts about revenge. It’s common for such people to have anger issues and relationship issues. You need the support of someone who has the training and experience to help you leave the past behind and be all you can be.
What you need to do now is make an appointment with a licensed mental health counselor who has experience working with teen guys. Your physician or your school counselor can probably give you some names of good counselors. You could also look at the Therapist Finder here at PsychCentral.
You are absolutely correct to be looking for further help. You could have decades of life ahead. You deserve to be freed of the anxiety and burden of these thoughts so you can have a happy future.
I wish you well.
Dr. Marie
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