From a teen in the U.S.: Ok so, sometimes I feel really lonely and like i cant talk to anyone else about what i am feeling, because it is really hard to put into words. i have some days where i am fine but other days where i get really sad. i feel unwanted by people and like i always give more than other people and feel under-appreciated.
I get alot of anxiety sometimes in social situations, sometimes just on a regular day to day basis but i dont know if these feelings are normal. I feel like i am a socialable person but i am always freaking out about if i said or did something wrong and i feel like i hold myself back sometimes when i dont want to.
i constantly think about things i have said or done in the past and let them eat away at me and i feel like i always have these weird existential moments. none of this probably makes any sense whatsoever so im sorry to whoever gets to read this. But basically i feel confused about my own feelings and i always feel insecure and nervous and i feel like everyone around me is confident and can be themselves. I feel like i constantly care and worry about what other people are thinking of me, even though i tell myself i dont care about their approval. I breathe really heavy and quick when i start to get anxious and nervous so that I can get these weird feelings out of my system. I dont know if any of this is normal so please help!!
A: Although I can’t make an official diagnoses on the basis of a letter, I can tell you that what you are reporting is consistent with the diagnosis of social anxiety. Although almost all teens go through a period of being overly concerned about how other people see them, when it becomes this regular and this intense, you may need some help to work it through.
It would probably be very helpful for you to see a therapist for a little while to get some coaching and encouragement. I think you already know that. You know you haven’t been able to take care of it on your own. That’s why you wrote to us here at PsychCentral. But we can’t offer you the ongoing support that a local therapist can give you. Please, do make an appointment to see someone who specializes in teen issues. You deserve to reclaim your self-confidence and self-assurance when with other people.
I wish you well.
Dr. Marie
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